


Love came down at Christmas

by fifty_fifty



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Anal Sex, Background Relationships, Boss/Employee Relationship, Bottom Arthur, Christmas Party, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Minor Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Minor Percival/Gwaine (Merlin), Mutual Pining, Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), Office Party, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Top Arthur Pendragon/Bottom Merlin (Merlin), Top Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifty_fifty/pseuds/fifty_fifty
Summary: When Merlin takes his boss, Arthur to the office Christmas party to prove to Cenred his evil ex that he’s completely over him, little does he know that he’s an unwitting party to a matchmaking scheme. And, in the days that follow, what starts off as a mutual fake relationship starts to take on a more serious note as Merlin’s feelings grow. Not only that, but he suspects that the feeling might be mutual. Or is that just wishful thinking?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 359
Collections: Merlin Holidays 2019





	Love came down at Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glayvas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glayvas/gifts).



> Dear Merlin Hols, I hope that you enjoy this fic, I’m not entirely sure I fit any of your briefs, but I tried my best and then the boys ran off with the story.
> 
> Thank you also to my fantastic beta reader, S, for all their hard work and advise to make this into a readable story. I value your input so, so much! And thank you to the mods for being understanding and accommodating me with such a late posting date. Plus a special thanks to C, even with half a bottle of wine and a Bailey’s in you, you’re still a much better summary writer than I’ll ever be!

“Gwen,” whined Merlin down the phone. “I can’t go. I just can’t.”

Merlin rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom in his relatively new flat.

“But that’s just want he wants!” protested Gwen’s voice. “He wants you to feel uncomfortable and he wants to own the space at work. You can’t let him do that. Life is too short to be dreading work. You deserve to have a happy work environment.”

Hearing the smile and warmth in Gwen’s voice, Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Just because you hooked up with your boss, there’s no need to be smug,” he complained.

“You could always hook up with yours,” Gwen pointed out.

Merlin snorted. “Yeah, that would go well, wouldn’t it. Besides, Arthur is a prat. And he’d never, ever consider _me_.”

Gwen hummed down the phone.

“Shut up,” Merlin retorted. “I know you and Morgana have cooked up this weird fantasy world where Arthur and I are somehow married with two point four kids. But you’re being stupid. Arthur can barely stand me, let alone fancy me.”

“Whatever you say Merlin.”

“Besides,” he carried on, choosing to ignore Gwen’s comment, “that’s not what we were talking about. I’m just going to give the Christmas party a miss this year. No one will care.”

“ _I’ll care_ ,” said Gwen. “And Morgana, and Gwaine, and Percival. And all your friends at the office. You just can’t let that arsehole ex of yours rule the roost, Merlin. He would be unbearable, and he’d hold it over you forever. You need to show him that he doesn’t have that kind of power over you anymore.”

Sighing, Merlin ran a hand through his hair. Gwen had a very good point. Cenred had been so manipulative when they’d been together. He had infiltrated Merlin’s mind in insidious ways, undermining his self-confidence and worth. It had taken him the best part of the year to start to feel like himself again, and even now, a specific thought or memory could sometimes send him spiralling. He couldn’t let Cenred get one over him again. Maybe he should go to the party. If only he weren’t as sadly single as he had been ever since he’d walked out of Cenred’s place last year. Dating again and putting himself out there was still a step too far for Merlin right now. He wasn’t sure what would be worse: not turning up at the party, or turning up alone. He wanted to show that he had moved on. That Cenred was nothing more than a footnote in his life. But how? There were only a couple of weeks left until the Christmas party.

“I don’t know Gwen. If I had someone... Maybe I’d go. But I know how—how Cenred is. He’d just love to see me as a sad lonely loser who can’t get a date.”

“Merlin!” admonished Gwen. “That is NOT true. You could have a date like _that_ if you wanted to. You’ve just not _quite_ been ready until now. But you know what, maybe you should. Maybe you could put up a dating profile on an app or two…”

Merlin shook his head and sat up. “No,” he said. “I am not doing a dating app. I can find a date all by myself for the party. I’ll go out tomorrow.”

“Good,” replied Gwen, a little too gleefully.

“Oh God, you’ve been taking lessons from Morgana.”

“Indeed, I learned from the master. Or maybe that should be the mistress…”

Pulling open his wardrobe, Merlin pulled out a shirt and paused to examine it. “Oh GODS, spare me the details of your sex life, please!”

Gwen and Morgana cackled down the phone at him. “Goodnight, Merlin!” they both cooed.

With a sigh, Merlin put the shirt back before throwing his phone down on the bedside table and laying back down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling. What a fucking mess. How had he managed to let Gwen talk him into going to the party again? The whole reason he’d called was to talk his way _out_ of the damned thing. Now not only did he have to go to the thing, but he had to try and find a new guy who would be willing to go to a company Christmas party with him when they’d have only known each other—Merlin glanced at his watch—less than three weeks. And Christmas wasn’t too far behind. When had he become such an adult? He never used to worry about these kind of things. But then, before now he’d never had a partner who had made him question every single thing he did or said, for fear of invoking their anger. He guessed he wasn’t as over it as he thought.

Shuddering, Merlin closed his eyes against the memories. He needed a drink.

Hauling himself up and off the bed, Merlin made his way to the small kitchenette and opened the fridge. No beer, he suddenly recalled. He’d drunk it all the night before. He closed the fridge and opened a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of Jameson he’d been saving for a special occasion, if he had a friend—or heaven forbid—a date over. Or so he’d told himself. But just a small glass wouldn’t hurt. Just this once. He could always replace the bottle later, if he needed to—but he wouldn’t need to. This was just a little nightcap to chase the bad memories away.

With a shaking hand, he opened the bottle and poured himself a measure. He paused and then slopped a bit more into the glass before screwing it shut and sitting on the sofa. The flat was quiet apart from the usual hum of electricity and the ambient rumble of cars from the street below. He swallowed heavily before taking a sip, pushing away all the vicious thoughts and lies that Cenred had sown so carefully and then tended to over time. He buried his head in his hands. Fuck. Why had he agreed to go to the party with a date? What had he been thinking? Who would want to go out with him, let alone go to his work do? He had worked his way up to being a glorified secretary at a job his best friend had landed him! His best friend who had consequently fucked off and died. God he missed Will. Will wouldn’t have let things have gone as far as they did with Cenred. Will would have noticed. Will knew him, all too well.

Merlin tipped back his glass and swallowed the whiskey in one shot. It burned down his throat. He coughed and spluttered. Fuck. He needed more alcohol if he was going to be thinking about Will. He returned to the kitchen to get the bottle and poured himself another drink. Fucking Will. Why had he had to go and die like that? Merlin had needed him. He still needed him. Merlin swallowed hard as he gripped the glass. That was another thing he hadn’t ever really gotten over. How could he? He was supposed to be with Will that day. He was supposed to have taken him out to the mall, but he’d got busy at work, so he’d had to cancel. But Will was a stubborn fucker and decided he was going to go on his own. He’d always valued his independence, never wanting to be a burden on anyone. And he never had been. But he’d been between service dogs, having had to retire Suki last year due to her age. The driver had been arrested and charged, thankfully. But that didn’t bring Will back. Nothing would. Merlin had lost his best friend in a blink of an eye.

He slammed the glass down and opened the bottle. And then, not even bothering with the glass, he took a swig from the bottle. Fuck life, fuck work, and fuck Christmas parties. He was going to have another drink, just to take the edge off, and anyone who had a problem with that could do one.

***

The next morning, Merlin blinked his eyes and then hissed at the bright light that pierced his skull and made his head throb. He threw his arm over his face and groaned. His mouth was dry, his tongue thick and heavy in his mouth, the night before being all but a blank to him after he’d returned home.

His stomach lurched and the taste of nausea filled his mouth. He scrambled to his feet, hurrying down the hallway, making it just in time to puke his guts up in the toilet. When he finally finished heaving, and felt like he wouldn’t likely throw up again, he sat back and leaned against the cool-tiled wall and closed his eyes, revelling in the very temporary feeling of relief, before the wave of nausea swept in again. 

“Oh God,” he groaned, turning to press his aching head against the tiles as he waited for the worst to pass. Not that it really did, but after several long minutes, he reached the point where he finally felt like he could move again without spewing. Slowly, ever so slowly, Merlin hauled himself to his feet, and with bleary, barely-opened eyes, he shuffled down the hall. It was of the utmost importance that everything, every action, be as slow as possible, to avoid upsetting the delicate balance Merlin had struck with his body.

When he reached the kitchen, he managed to get himself a glass of water and some paracetamol, swallowing the pills down and chasing them with small sips of water. He cringed as the noise of the kettle he had turned on out of habit started to boil, jarring his headache. Tea was a necessary part of recovering from a hangover though, and so was food. He shuffled over to the fridge and slowly opened it, looking inside. It was slim pickings. A few condiments, soya milk, a tub of margarine and an expired ready meal. Not exactly the makings of a hangover-curing breakfast. He glanced over at the sideboard; at least there as some bread still. He slid a few slices into the toaster and grabbed the margarine and milk from the fridge. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. Besides, he had to be at work in… Fuck. Less than twenty minutes.

Tea made, he abandoned his toast-making efforts to drag himself back to the bathroom to shower and dress for work. By the time he grabbed his toast and headed out the door with his laptop, he was starting to feel vaguely human and at least somewhat ready for the day ahead. He closed the door and rushed off to get the tube, without a second thought for the milk he’d left out on the counter.

***

Merlin sighed as he squeezed the teabag against the side of his cup and turned to throw it in the bin. It had turned out to be quite the morning. He’d been late, and it had NOT gone unnoticed by Arthur, who had asked if he was hungover—on a weekday no less—in that incredulous tone of voice only Arthur had. But Merlin had ~~lied~~ strenuously denied it, telling Arthur he was sick (not a complete lie, since he HAD been sick in the toilet that very morning). Arthur had eyed him dubiously, but finally let the matter drop. 

Then there had been an endless parade of meetings, phone calls, and contracts to organise for Arthur to authorise. Contracts that required a level of concentration Merlin just didn’t have that morning, all so that Merlin could brief Arthur on what he was going to be signing. It was ridiculous that Arthur insisted that he do this, since Merlin knew the man was meticulous and never signed anything without reading it and understanding exactly what it was he was signing. It was the corporate solicitor in him.

“Ah, Merlin!” exclaimed a lilting Irish voice behind him. 

The teaspoon clattered to the floor as Merlin startled.

“Gwaine!” Merlin admonished. “You can’t just sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry,” said Gwaine with a shrug as he leaned against a table and took a bite of his apple. “So,” he said around his mouthful, “pub tonight? You, me, Perce?”

Merlin picked up the teaspoon and put it in the dishwasher. He shook his head, not daring to look at Gwaine just yet. “Nah, I can’t. Not tonight.”

“Oh,” said Gwaine, lasciviously. Merlin didn’t even need to turn around to know that he was vigorously waggling his eyebrows. “And why is that? Have you got a hot date, Emrys?”

Merlin couldn’t help the snort of laughter that came from his lips. “Hardly!” He gathered up his tea and faced Gwaine. “Just not really in the mood for a night out.”

“Ah, come on. It’s not even going out-out. It’s just going out!”

“I appreciate the offer Gwaine, but not tonight.”

Gwaine eyed him suspiciously for a few moments. “Fine. But you, me and Percival? We’re going out-out soon, okay? You need more nights out. Besides, it’s almost Christmas and you _have_ to go out around Christmas. It’s tradition.”

Rolling his eyes, Merlin smiled good humouredly. “Fine,” he agreed, realising that going out with Percival and Gwaine might end up being a good way to pull someone, and consequently, get a date for the Christmas party. “Friday?”

Grinning widely, Gwaine thumped Merlin enthusiastically on the back. “Now you’re talking! We’ll make a real night of it, go straight from the office.”

“Straight from the office?” said Merlin, cocking an eyebrow. “No, no way. I’m not going clubbing in a suit like some kind of wanker.”

With a laugh, Gwaine said, “Arthur does it.”

“Well, that just proves my point, doesn’t it?” replied Merlin, neglecting to add that he found the image of Arthur clubbing in a suit hot as fuck. As well not at all thinking about several other Arthur-in-a-suit based fantasies he frequently had.

“Can’t fool me, Emrys. I know what does it for you and he’s tall, blond, and a bit of an arse.”

“Who’s a bit of an arse?” came Arthur’s voice as he walked into the staff kitchen.

“Oh, um, Julius Borden from the third floor?”

Arthur hummed in response as he started to make himself a cup of tea. Gwaine shot Merlin a mischievous look and Merlin shook his head frantically behind Arthur’s back.

“So Arthur, work night out on Friday! You up for it?” Gwaine asked innocently. Merlin glared at him even harder.

Arthur shook his head. “Can’t, I’m afraid. Dinner with Uther and Morgana. Maybe another time. Merlin, don’t forget, I have a meeting with Nemeth in ten minutes. I need their file on my desk.”

“Yes, sir,” said Merlin. “I’ll just go fetch it.”

As he and Gwaine left the kitchen, Gwaine nudged him and whispered, “I tried. But maybe it’s better this way, I didn’t need to see you spending all night drooling over blondie in a suit.”

“Fuck off, Gwaine.”

***

Merlin cursed as he hopped into a pair of exceedingly tight jeans in the small bathroom near his office. Damn Gwaine and Percival for ganging up on him to _insist_ that they go straight from work tonight, necessitating this hurried outfit change at the end of the day, and damn Arthur for not wrapping up that meeting sooner so that he could get off of work on time for once. Tonight was supposed to help relax him and let him wind down after such a busy week; instead, it was just serving to stress him out further. His phone beeped and Merlin stopped with his jeans mid-way up his thighs to check who was messaging him. It was Gwaine, letting him know that they’d grown tired of waiting for him and were instead sequestered in the Rising Sun, and that he should move his arse to come join them.

He jumped and looked up from the phone as the door opened. Oh fuck, he’d forgotten that Arthur would likely use this bathroom, with it being one of the closest to their office.

“Oh,” said Arthur, stopping in his tracks in the middle of the room. “I thought you’d gone.”

“Well, I would have been, if you hadn’t made me stay late,” Merlin groused, momentarily forgetting his state of undress.

Arthur strode over to the sink and turned on the tap, he rolled his eyes at Merlin in the mirror. “I’m not going to apologise for expecting you to do your job, Merlin.”

Merlin scowled, his mouth a firm line as he bit back a retort. He and Arthur had developed a bit of a fractious working relationship over the past 18 months. Normally, he would talk back to such an assumption of his personal time on Arthur’s behalf, but he was tired, and his friends were waiting, even though really, he just wanted to go home.

He realised that Arthur was looking at him rather strangely.

“What?”

Arthur tilted his head to one side as he stared into the mirror. “What _are_ you doing?” His eyes traced Merlin’s chest in his reflection in the mirror.

Merlin flushed, oh fuck! He’d forgotten he was getting dressed. Here he was, standing practically half-naked in front of his boss. He automatically reached out and grabbed his clean shirt, hurrying to put in on, Arthur watching all the while. “Not that it’s any business of yours, but I’m going out,” Merlin told him, in an attempt to regain some semblance of dignity. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why had it been Arthur who’d caught him _almost literally_ with his pants down?

Finally, Arthur tore his eyes away from Merlin as he splashed some water on his face. He snorted. “Well, just don’t get as plastered as you did the other night. We have a busy day on Monday.”

“When do we not?” asked Merlin, rhetorically, as he finished tugging up his jeans and straightened his shirt. It was amazing what having your amazingly-attractive-boss-that-you-totally-don’t-have-a-crush-on staring at you could do to help you hurry along.

“Point taken,” said Arthur, loosening his tie. His eyes returned to Merlin. “I take it you’re going out with Gwaine and Percival?”

“Yep.” Giving him a curt nod, Merlin gathered up his discarded suit and stood at the other sink, next to Arthur. He examined himself critically in the mirror, ruffling a hand through his hair.

Arthur opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. He turned away from Merlin and headed towards the door.

“Well, have a good evening,” he said, as he left Merlin frowning, a little confused.

Arthur had seemed sad somehow, Merlin reflected, though he couldn’t imagine why. It was well known in the office that Arthur loathed Gwaine and his brash behaviour at worst, and tolerated him and his easy-going manner for sales at best. Merlin had expected some kind of biting comment from Arthur, not a curt, stiff goodbye. Merlin almost felt bad about going out, half-wondering if he ought to chase Arthur down and ask him to come and join them. 

Arthur seemed lonely. Merlin didn’t have much of an idea what Arthur got up to outside of work; he had a strict professional-personal divide which meant that all Merlin really knew about him was that he was the son of the owner, Uther Pendragon, and his sister was Morgana Gorlois. Apparently, the different last names was a long story, most of which Gwen had glossed over when Merlin had asked her about it,

Did Arthur have friends outside of work? What did he enjoy doing? Did he have hobbies? Did he play sports? Did he have a girlfriend? Merlin didn’t know. Well, he suspected that the answer to the latter was no. He knew from working as an assistant to other similar big shots as Arthur, what the signs were that a man had a woman in his life, and Arthur displayed none of those. Just _what_ did he get up to? Merlin wondered. And he was surprised to realise that he really wanted to be the one to find out.

***

“Hey, Merlin!” called Gwaine over the booming music and the busy bustle of the pub. 

Merlin waved in response, knowing it was pointless to try to talk over the noise. He pushed his way through the crowded tables and chairs to make it to the bar where Gwaine was standing.

“Good timing!” Gwaine yelled. “What can I get for you?”

Merlin eyed the shelves of spirits behind the bar for a split-second. What he would _really_ like was to wrap his hands around a bottle of vodka, or gin, or rum. He wasn’t fussy, but it wasn’t socially acceptable to drink your way into oblivion that way in a pub, even when you were with Gwaine.

“Oh, whatever you’re having!” Merlin called back.

“Guinness? You sure? Percival hates the stuff, his only fault.”

“Sure, why not?”

Giving the barman his order with a seductive wink, Gwaine led the way to a quieter booth at the back of the pub where Percival was waiting for them. He looked up and smiled at them both, his gaze barely lingering on Merlin for more than a moment before returning to Gwaine with a wide grin.

“You’re back,” said Percival. “I thought you might have fallen in.”

“Ah, you’re sweet,” laughed Gwaine. “Is that your way of saying you missed me?” 

He took a seat, and Merlin, smothering a laugh, sat down next to him. Percival and Gwaine were really pretty perfectly matched. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought about introducing them sooner. Then again, Merlin hadn’t known that the gentle giant was gay. In fact, Merlin couldn’t remember Percival with someone else before Gwaine. He shrugged to himself. Love and dating were strange things, and he certainly wasn’t going to cast judgement on anyone for their love life. Perhaps Percival had been holding out, waiting for The One, and now he’d decided that Gwaine was that one. Which Merlin supposed he should take as a sign of there being someone for everyone, because a year ago Merlin would have bet huge amounts of money against Gwaine ever being in a monogamous relationship, least of all with a man. Merlin knew that Gwaine had slept with pretty much anyone he found attractive and willing, but he’d never been able to hold down a proper, long-term relationship until now, and men especially seemed to be a one night stand situation with him. Hence why Merlin had never hooked up with him. 

And Merlin was happy for them, he was, but he still couldn’t believe that there might be someone out there for him. Every relationship he’d ever had had been a disaster in one way or another. And Cenred had been the icing on the cake. He just couldn’t believe in true love, or proper, caring relationships anymore. Not after that colossal misjudgement of character. He was much better off sticking to himself and his closest friends for company. He was fine with that. He just needed someone who would look the part at the office party. Someone hot, attractive, and preferably with more than one brain cell, although that was purely optional. Just someone who would show Cenred that Merlin had moved on, and that he was nothing more than a footnote in Merlin’s life now he had a new, exciting, gorgeous boyfriend. Was that really too much to ask?

Several hours and drinks later, in the local LGBT club, it was slowly becoming apparent to Merlin that it apparently really _was_ too much to ask. In as many hours, he’d been propositioned by no less than 5 men whilst Gwaine and Percival were off somewhere, no doubt making out on some kind of available horizontal area, leaving Merlin to fend for himself in a dating scene he did not feel ready for just yet. Not when these were apparently the best that _Club Camelot_ could come up with. Merlin wasn’t _picky_ , but he _did_ have standards. With hindsight being twenty-twenty, Merlin decided that it was time to go back to the drawing board to find a man to be his fake-date.

***

“Come on, Gwen!” Merlin begged, following her into the rather dangerous territory of Morgana’s office that most people avoided like the plague — Merlin doubly-so as her brother’s assistant. “I need your help!”

“Merlin…” Gwen replied warningly.

“Pleeease, Gwen! I’m desperate.”

“Oh, well if you’re _desperate_...” said Gwen, mocking him lightly.

“You’ve changed Gwen,” Merlin moaned, slumping down into the chair in front of her desk, designated for visitors to the office. “You used to be so nice before you started dating Morgana.”

“Now, now. A little tough love never hurt anyone,” Gwen chided.

With a sigh, Merlin shook his head, “It’s like you don’t want me to get a date for the party!” he complained. “And I distinctly remember you being the one who talked me _into it._ You’re therefore officially obligated to help find me one.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. It was nothing compared to the eyebrow raises Merlin was used to experiencing from his godfather, Gaius, but it was impressive nonetheless. “So you’re saying you want me to set you up on a date?” she asked.

Merlin shrugged. “It could hardly be worse than clubbing with Percival and Gwaine the other night.”

Holding out their hands, they shook. “You have a deal,” she said, with what Merlin suddenly realised was rather a predatory grin. “I’m going to have fun with this!”

***

Merlin peeked around the corner of the building before pulling his head back and pressing himself against the wall. He tipped his head back, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was a bad idea. Such a terribly bad idea. Why had he let Gwen set him up on a blind date again? Oh, yeah. Because he was an idiot, and he’d begged her to set him up. 

Of course, he hadn’t meant like _this_. He’d meant more like… her introducing him to a guy or two maybe, someone she thought might be interested in him. Or even just a guy who would be okay with this whole relationship-for-the-sake-of-a-relationship idea that Merlin had had. He had tried to explain to Gwen that, given the lack of time before the party, he didn’t even really need a guy who was actually _into him_. Just a guy who was happy to spend some time with him and act like they were super in love and had a wonderful relationship. And was that _really_ too much to ask?

According to Gwen, it was. She had insisted that if she was going to set him up, it would be with actual dates. What she had neglected to say—until after she had landed him said date—was that it would be a blind one.

Merlin had never been on a blind date before, but it was safe to say, given the way that he was feeling right now, that he loathed them. Were there people who actually _enjoyed_ meeting others this way? Or did everyone feel this impending feeling of death and doom like he did?

He squeezed his eyes tighter and breathed in and out, in and out. He could do this. He _had_ to do this, otherwise Gwen would rip him a new one, in the style of her girlfriend, and he was rather fond of living, right now. Despite his current predicament.

Standing up straight, Merlin gave himself a shake and walked around the corner. He crossed the road, that feeling of anxiety and nausea still tearing up his belly as he opened the door to the restaurant with a shaking hand. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe George would be his dream match? Maybe he was about the meet The One? Stranger things could happen!

***

George, it turned out, was _not_ the one.

He’d been an extremely dull date, so much so that at one point—whilst he was droning on about brass and brass rubbings, of all things—Merlin had fantasised about going back to university to become a physicist just so that he could invent time travel and go back in time to retract his request that Gwen help him find a guy. He told Gwen so much over lunch in the downstairs breakroom the next day.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t like George,” she said with a sigh. “I was sure you’d be such a good match. You’re both around the same age. He works as a PA like you do. He even likes reading. Did you talk about books?”

Merlin shook his head. “Not as such. He was too busy telling me about his brass collection.”

“Oh, dear,” groaned Gwen. “I told him to steer clear of that.”

“You _knew_? You knew he was one of the most boring human beings known to man, and yet you still set us up?” 

Fiddling with the handle on her mug of tea and then lifting it to take a sip, Gwen gave him a warning look. “I think saying he’s the most boring person known to man is a bit of an exaggeration. Anyway,” she said tossing her curls over her shoulder, “forget about George. I have another guy to set you up with. What are you doing Friday night?”

***

It turns out what Merlin was doing on Friday night was yet another of Gwen’s blind dates. This time with a guy called Owain, whom she _swore_ was really nice and not at all boring. Which was all very well for her to say, but bearing in mind that she had thought that the infamous _George_ was a good match for him, Merlin wasn’t so sure.

Well, no rest for the wicked. The sooner he got in there and met Owain, the sooner it would be over with...

His date with Owain went better than he’d expected, especially compared to his previous blind date. Owain was nice and attentive, interested in what Merlin had to say. He wasn’t a bore like George. And Merlin wasn’t so vain as to think of himself as exceptionally good-looking—that was Arthur’s territory, the handsome prat—but Owain was rather… average, in the looks department. And Merlin wasn’t trying to be picky. But he did at least want to try and take someone to the party who would turn heads if at all possible. 

Plus, there just hadn’t been that _spark_ between them. Whilst Owain was obviously a decent bloke, the whole date had felt like being two people who were mates-of-a-mate, who had been left together at a party neither of them could escape. 

At least Merlin was pretty sure the feeling was mutual. He’d have to check with Gwen on Monday to see what Owain had told her. He and Owain had exchanged numbers; Merlin was polite, after all. But he was sure that he would shortly be receiving the obligatory, “thanks, I had a good time. We should do this again sometime…” text, without a specified follow up on a suggested day for their next date or a gentle nudge as to Merlin’s availability.

As he walked home from the restaurant, contemplating this, his phone beeped. He pulled it out of his pocket. There it was. The obligatory text. As he read it, he let out a groan and rubbed his face with his hand.

_“Hi Merlin! Sorry if this is too soon. But I had a fantastic time getting to know you tonight. I’d love to get together again soon! Are you free this weekend or in the evening next week?”_

He must have been reading Owain’s level of interest all wrong. With a sigh, he pocketed his phone and for the rest of the walk home, he wondered what he should send as a reply to Owain that would let him down gently.

***

Okay, so he had the Gedref report to finish up and that meeting to schedule with the head of Marketing that Arthur had ~~demanded~~ requested, then he could finally take a break and grab a coff— 

A sudden whack to the back of his head propelled him forward, and he bumped his head a second time on his computer monitor.

“Ow!” he complained, turning to glare at his mystery assailant only to be bombarded by another shove.

“I can’t believe you!” screeched Gwen as Merlin lifted his arms up to shield himself. “ _’Fix me up with your friends, Gwen. I’m begging you.’ ‘I need to have a date for the Christmas party’, my arse!_ ”

“I’m sorry? Have I done something wrong?” asked Merlin, peeking through his arms.

“Yes!” said Gwen exasperatedly. “Owain!”

“Oh.”

“Yes, ‘oh’!” said Gwen, finally backing off enough for Merlin to let down his guard. “How could you do that to him?”

Merlin winced. “I let him down as gently as I could,” he protested.

“He thought you’d had a wonderful time!” retorted Gwen.

“We did,” Merlin replied.

Gwen scowled at him and folded her arms obstinately. “So why did you send him such a blunt text telling him you weren’t interested?”

“It wasn’t blunt!”

“But why send it at all? I thought you said that you wanted someone to go to the party with! Now, I agree, George can be a bit... uninteresting. But Owain is nice. He’s kind and he really liked you. So why turn him down?”

Merlin shrugged and sank back in his chair whilst Gwen perched on the edge of his desk. He fiddled with a pen. “We just... There was no spark.”

Gwen’s brow furrowed. “But that doesn’t matter really, does it? If it was just to make Cen— You Know Who jealous?”

Merlin shook his head and looked away. “I— Look, when I knew that Owain liked me, it just didn’t seem fair to string him along when I didn’t feel the same way. I’m not like that. If the other person knows that it’s just for fun or a fake thing, then that’s fair game. But not when there are real feelings at play. That would make me no better than…” he trailed off as he clenched his fist.

“Oh, Merlin,” said Gwen, her eyes soft as she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Of course. Forgive me. I didn’t understand. Just… the next time something like this happens, let the poor bloke who fell head over heels for you in a matter of minutes down more gently, huh?”

***

With Gwen refusing to set him up on any other dates, Merlin was left with little other option than to set up a dating profile. He shuddered as he did so, remembering how he had once vowed never to so much as download such an app, let alone sign up for one.

But here he was.

Beggars couldn’t be choosers, and with the party just over two weeks away, Merlin was starting to get a bit desperate. These apps were supposed to be great for that kind of thing anyway, he reasoned. So it was most likely the best place to pick up a guy who wasn’t looking for something serious and just wanted a bit of fun. Someone who’d be happy to attend an office Christmas party where they didn’t know anyone in exchange for free food and drinks. Or at least, Merlin hoped he’d find someone like that.

He set up his profile and ummed and ahhed about what pictures to add to it. He wanted to look good, but he wasn’t super keen on the plethora of naked or near-naked profile pictures he’d seen so far. It seemed a little… much. And he wasn’t really looking for a hook-up (although, if the guy was really hot and they seemed to hit if off, he wouldn’t be opposed…), just someone who was relatively good-looking and a decent conversationalist. And how much could you tell about how attractive someone was to you from just their body? He ended up using a picture Lancelot had taken of him before he’d taken a job as a war photographer in Syria last year (and thus breaking Gwen’s heart). It was a good picture of him, if he did say so himself. Lancelot had captured a certain kind of beauty in him that Merlin hadn’t known that he possessed. Everyone agreed that he looked great in it, so he uploaded the photo to his profile, set his preferences to ‘casual’ and ‘looking for fun and friendship’, then set his phone aside and went to bed.

***

Bleary eyed and with a half-hearted groan, Merlin reached out to grab his phone that was ringing shrilly in his ear, waking him for the morning. He squinted at the screen to hit snooze and squinted harder as he noticed that there were 85 notifications on his phone.

“What?” he croaked, trying to recall why or how that might have happened. Deciding it was too early to be thinking about anything at all, much less something so confusing and complicated, Merlin set his phone back on his bedside table and fell back asleep.

Half an hour later, having dragged himself out of bed and to the shower, Merlin looked at his phone again whilst brushing his teeth. He blew out a breath exaggeratedly as he looked at the notifications. They were all for the new dating app. Apparently, he was very popular somehow? Merlin smiled to himself as he ran a comb through his hair, hurriedly dressed in a suit and tie (there were posh clients at work today), and rushed out the door. No time to sort through them right now. He’d save it for his mid-morning coffee break. 

But Merlin found it difficult to resist the temptation of checking his notifications over at the photocopier. Big mistake. A large number of the responses were from guys who had decided to send him a picture of what presumably was supposed to be their cock—thank goodness he was using his phone data and not the company wifi; that would have been difficult to explain. A few others sent full nudes, and only a handful of them had actually sent what Merlin would consider proper responses. Merlin bookmarked their profiles to come back to later.

Right now he had a meeting to prepare for Arthur.

***

A long wolf whistle startled Merlin, causing him to almost drop his phone whilst he was waiting in the staff kitchen for the kettle to boil.

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be looking at soft-core pornography on the job, Merlin?” said Gwaine, leering over his shoulder.

Merlin quickly clutched his phone to his chest.

“What?” he spluttered. “I was not!”

Gwaine shrugged and swiped the kettle to make his own cup of tea. “That’s what it looked like to me. And probably to anyone else who could have walked in here.”

“No one else _is_ supposed to be in here. Just the executive’s assistants,” pointed out Merlin. “Everyone else is supposed to be in the staff meeting on the second floor right now.”

“Ah, well,” replied Gwaine, nonchalantly, stirring two heaping teaspoons of sugar into his tea. “It won’t be anything important. Percival will fill me in. And _fill me in_ , if you know what I mean.”

“You’re gross,” Merlin said, taking the kettle back and proceeding to make both his own cup of tea and another for Arthur who would be bound to want one after the staff meeting was over. “I don’t need or want to know any of the intimate details of your sex life.”

Gwaine smirked. “Suit yourself. But if you’re looking at porn a work, I’d say maybe you should.”

“Shut up, Gwaine. And for the last time, _it wasn’t porn_!”

“So you get guys sending pictures of their cocks to your phone all the time, do you?” 

Merlin shrugged trying not to blush.

“You do! Did you finally sign up for Grindr? Ah, the colour of your ears tells me that you did. Well, congratulations, my man. Enjoy all that fresh cock and hot sex…” Gwaine sighed longingly. “I miss that sometimes. But hey, none of them are Perce.” Gwaine smiled and took a gulp of his tea. “Anyway, nice talking to you, Merlin. Fuck a few for me. Or at least report back, huh? You lucky dog!”

Before Merlin could register it, Gwaine was gone. He shook his head. Gwaine was ridiculous. He didn’t even know why Gwaine came up here to use the kitchen, when he worked down on the first floor. But it was cute to see how gone Gwaine was on Percival; that he was okay with giving up casual sex with as many guys as possible and ready to settle down and commit said volumes. 

He wondered for a moment if he ought to try it. Just put himself out there (safely, of course) and experience the hedonistic lifestyle that Gwaine used to live. But it was a fleeting thought. Merlin wanted more than that (though he wasn’t opposed to saving one or two pictures that he’d been sent for later, private use). He’d replied to a few possible candidates of guys who were interested in having fun and hanging out together. Maybe one of them might pan out.

***

The next few evenings saw Merlin going out on dates-but-not-really-proper-dates at various restaurants and pubs across London. One of them, though nice, Merlin immediately ruled out since they lived at the opposite sides of the city, and Merlin just couldn’t face the commute that took up half the time when he wanted to go out. Gilli had agreed. It was a pretty standard thing for the London dating scene that there were just some people who were out of your dating pool simply because of their postcode, so no one really took much offence and they were usually in agreement.

Tyr had been nice, and they were still messaging each other, but there was never going to be anything more than friendship there. William had known of a great pub fairly close to Merlin’s flat that he hadn’t even known existed. He’d been funny and easy to get on with. They were having a second date at the cinema next week. He was definitely a possible for the party, though Merlin could never call him Will as he had been asked to without getting that all too familiar pang of pain at the thought of Will and his death. Another hungover morning after Merlin had tried to forget those memories had proceeded the next day.

He had another date tonight: dinner at a vegetarian Thai place with Eolann. And he hoped against hope that he might be the one, since he’d ticked a lot of Merlin’s boxes based on his picture and his profile. He rushed through his day on autopilot, getting scolded by Arthur more than once for his inattention, before the day was over and he could finally go home to get ready.

***

Merlin was perched on the edge of Gwen’s desk, a mug in hand, waving it around as he talked.

“Honestly Gwen, it was awful! It turns out that he didn’t like _anything_ on the menu. Said he was expecting there to at least be something with chicken or fish, _at a vegetarian place_. I don’t mind going to non-veggie places; I can usually find something on the menu to eat. But you’d think since we’d agreed to meet at a vegetarian place, he might—you know—actually want to eat vegetarian food! And then he drank himself under the table, whilst insisting all the while he wasn’t drunk in the slightest. Oh, and here’s the best part! He expected me to pay for everything!” Merlin waved his hand around and Gwen frowned at the tea that sloshed out of the mug onto Morgana’s pristine carpet. “And after that, I had to make sure he got home safely, right? So I walked him home and he puked on my shoes. Hence the trainers.”

He raised a foot up so that Gwen could see.

“I bet Arthur loves that,” grinned Gwen.

“Yeah, well, I bet he’d love sick-covered and sick-smelling shoes even more. So he should be thanking me really.”

Gwen laughed. “Well, I did try and set you up with some nice, normal people. But…”

“Yeah, yeah,” sighed Merlin. “I know. I don’t mean to be picky. But I just… I want someone who will make Cenred, jealous, you know? To show him that I can do better than him. I’m just running out of time.”

“Hello, Merlin!” said Morgana, swanning into the office. “What brings you here?”

“Dating woes,” Gwen told her sagely.

Morgana looked surprised. “You mean you still haven’t landed a date for the Christmas party?”

Merlin shrugged, feeling a little concerned at Morgana’s shark-like grin. 

“Well, never mind,” she said, stroking Merlin’s arm. “Leave it to me. I will sort you out a date, okay? And he’ll knock the socks off of your neanderthal of an ex, guaranteed. Though,” she added, “don’t tell him that I said that.”

***

Merlin tapped his foot nervously as he stood waiting. He was way too early and should have known better by now that it would lead to no good. He started to pace up and down by the entrance of the building. Maybe he should leave, go for a walk around the block and explore the area, then circle back in about five minutes. But then again, what if his date was also early and arrived just as he left? That would be awkward. Why was dating so complicated? Maybe he should check his phone. Look at Facebook, the news or play a game. But then he might miss his date coming in and they’d think that he was rude. But did that really matter? Morgana had said she’d explained the situation and this guy—whoever he was—had, in effect, agreed to fake-date him. She’d said that it would be a good idea, with the Christmas party not far away, for them to go out on a few “dates” beforehand so that they could get to know each other a bit and be convincing for Cenred. And really, that was what mattered, so Merlin had readily accepted, though he wondered who it was that Morgana had lined up for him. Whoever it was, she was evidently very happy with herself.

After waiting a few more moments, Merlin made a decision. He headed towards the door and went for a walk around the block, hoping it would clear his head and calm his nerves a bit. He had a habit now of turning up too early for things. He hadn’t realised it until now, but it was true. It had been a bit of a blessing working for Arthur, since Arthur disliked his clients turning up late, but prior to Cenred, Merlin had been one of those people who were always apologising because he was perpetually late. But that was before. Before Cenred had yelled at him, hit him and threatened him when he turned up late. That had only happened a few times before Merlin learned his lesson and planned to be early for everything. Even now that they weren’t together, Merlin still experienced a racing heart and high levels of anxiety when he was running late, his brain still expecting to be abused by Cenred for leaving him waiting on his own.

He needed to break that cycle, and walking out of the building when he was early, to come back closer to the agreed time, was a good first step. He worried that this new guy might be the same; that he might also dislike Merlin for being late. But if he did, he wasn’t really someone Merlin wanted to spend time with. And besides, if he was a friend of Morgana’s, she would be sure to rip this guy a new one if he upset him. In a good way, of course. Not like the way Cenred would.

As he stopped on the quiet street, Merlin sighed and rubbed his face. He just wanted to be free of Cenred; he didn’t want him to haunt his thoughts and influence his actions anymore. He wanted to be over it all. But his therapist told him it would take some time, and he was making good progress. Mithian had been very pleased to know that he had started dating again, and even happier still that he seemed to have found something wrong with every guy that he’d gone on a date with. Though she did question his reasons for wanting to have a date so badly for the Christmas party, and his wisdom in bringing Cenred into the whole thing. But Merlin was convinced that he needed to prove that he was over Cenred to his face, and that this would be the perfect way to do it.

After taking a moment to get himself together, Merlin started moving again. Just one more walk around the block and then he’d go in and meet this mystery man that Morgana had sent him.

***

Merlin was walking back into the bowling alley, finally ready to enjoy the night ahead, when he stopped in his tracks. Standing there at the counter looking vaguely bored was Arthur Pendragon.

What was Arthur doing here? God, he needed to abort this right now. He still had time to turn around and leave. He’d go, then come back again in ten minutes. His date would understand that he’d needed to avoid explaining their blind date to his boss, surely? Merlin was sure that he would.

Just as he was turning, Merlin heard an all too familiar voice say, “Merlin?”

He cringed inwardly. God, this was so embarrassing. Maybe he could pretend that he was here to meet up with some friends. That would sound much less sad than saying he was there to meet up with a guy who was going to pretend to be dating him.

Slowly turning around again, Merlin grinned awkwardly and gave Arthur a small wave. 

“Arthur!” he said, through his forced smile. “Imagine meeting you here…”

He watched as Arthur frowned at him. “Are you feeling okay, Merlin?”

Swallowing heavily and ignoring the bead of sweat rolling down his spine, Merlin croaked out, “Yes, I-I’m fine. W-why do you ask?”

“You look surprised to see me,” said Arthur coolly. “Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind.”

“Changed my…?” Merlin frowned. He couldn’t work out why Arthur was being even more of a pain in the arse than usual. “I don’t understand.”

“About tonight.”

Merlin’s frown deepened. “I still don’t follow.”

Arthur sighed loudly. “Look, I told Morgana I’d do her this favour, because I owe her one and she…” Arthur coughed over the word ‘threatened’, “...me. But if you don’t _want_ me to take you to the Christmas party…”

Standing there, dumbstruck, Merlin tried to process Arthur’s words. “Take me to the—” he spluttered. “No I damn well don’t!” he said crossly. “I’m not so much of a loser that I need my _boss_ to take me to my own work Christmas do, thanks! God, I’m going to _murder_ Morgana!” 

“Get in line,” Arthur gritted out.

They stood there glowering at each other for what felt like ages, but was likely less than a minute. Finally, Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Come on. We’re both here and we were both expecting something different, but I don’t think we need to let the fact that Morgana has lead us up the garden path spoil the evening. How about we just go bowling? As friends. Mates. It’s the least I can do after all you put up with at work. I know I’m not the easiest person in the world to work for.”

“That’s the understatement of the century,” Merlin muttered.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” said Arthur, wagging his finger warningly. “So, do you want to or not?”

Merlin shrugged. “Sure, might was well.”

They called the employee, who had been watching them with an amused smile, over to them. She took their shoes and exchanged them for pairs of blue and red clown bowling shoes, and whilst Merlin was changing into them, Arthur paid for their game.

After several frames and half a pitcher of over-priced beer, Merlin found much to his surprise that he was actually having fun. Arthur was a smug, arrogant prat, but he was also kind of fun, in a weird, Arthur-ish way. He was still a blatant gloater though, crowing at Merlin when he—yet again—got a strike. Merlin, on the other hand was a terrible bowler and he knew it, which probably didn’t help matters.

“Come on, Merlin. Try and actually hit one this time,” called Arthur. “Otherwise I’ll have to change the settings and put up the kiddie rail so you don’t get another gutter ball.” 

Merlin glowered silently, not willing to give Arthur the satisfaction of reacting. He bit his lip and resisted the urge to cheat. He was so tempted to, but his mother had always impressed upon him the importance of doing his best without the use of his abilities, and how using them to get ahead of others who didn’t have such an advantage was wrong. So he never had. Well, not really. But Arthur was really pushing his ability to resist.

After he’d bowled and knocked down an—impressive, for him—seven pins, Arthur got up and strutted past him. He carefully selected his ball and turned to face Merlin.

“Watch carefully, _Mer_ lin and I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Merlin did indeed watch carefully. But not Arthur’s technique. He was watching Arthur’s perfectly delectable bum that was hugged perfectly by his jeans as he bent over to bowl. Damn Morgana to hell. He was certain now that both she and Gwen must have somehow figured out his little crush on his boss and it was just downright _mean_ to have set them up like this, especially with something like _bowling_ of all things. Merlin would have to find out if the bowling ‘date’ had been Arthur’s idea, or Morgana’s to be sure. But for now, forget what his mother said about cheating, Arthur needed to be taken down a peg or two…

Merlin craned his neck to look around Arthur and peer down the bowling alley. He pushed with his magic and gave the bowling ball—which was careening for what was no doubt another ten—a sharp nudge, making it swerve massively off-course. So much so that the ball ended up running off the alley floor and down into the gutter, scoring Arthur a grand total of no pins knocked down.

“So what you’re saying,” called Merlin to him, “is that I have perfect technique?”

“Shut up, Merlin!”

The rest of their fake date continued in a similar manner, their usual, somewhat restrained work banter spilling over to outright ribbing and piss-taking, which had them both grinning and Arthur nudging into Merlin’s shoulder in a show of rough-housing as they walked from the bowling alley to the bus stop.

“Well,” said Merlin, holding back a sigh that the night was over. “This is my stop!”

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to wait with you for the—”

“No, it’ll be fine. Thanks. For tonight,” said Merlin, shoving his hands deep into his coat pockets to occupy them. “I had a good time.”

Arthur smiled at him. “Yeah, same.” He paused for a moment, looking like he was going to say something else. “Well, good night Merlin.”

“Yeah,” said Merlin, suddenly feeling disappointed for some reason as Arthur turned and started to walk away. “Wait, before you go–who was it who decided on bowling? You or Morgana?”

“Oh,” replied Arthur, turning back to face him. “That was Morgana. Said it would be a good icebreaker. And it was. But don’t you tell her that. She’ll crow over us forever!”

Merlin watched as Arthur went back the way he’d been heading, feeling a pang of sadness and longing. It was true. He’d had a great time tonight. But he had forgotten along the way that none of it had been real, and Arthur’s non-reaction had brought him back to reality with a thud. Why couldn’t Arthur have been boring, or an arse? Or a boring arse. Merlin hadn’t expected him to have such a good sense of humour and to be so open and friendly with him. At the office, Arthur was brisk and all-business most of the time. Tonight, Merlin had seen a whole new side to him that made him long for their date to all be real even more.

The bus pulled up with a creak and a hiss. Merlin scanned his Oyster card on autopilot, and as he rode back, his head pressed against the window, he wondered if Arthur might ever see him as anything other than his gangly personal assistant. At least after tonight he might possibly, eventually pass as a mate.

***

“So…” wheedled Gwen excitedly. “How did it go?”

“Hmm?” asked Merlin, looking up from his computer. Gwen had come to his and Arthur’s office in a strange reversal of their usual roles. Normally it was Merlin coming to Gwen to get the latest gossip, not her to him. It made him feel weird and uncomfortable as he wondered who else might know about his and Arthur’s weird arrangement.

“Your date with Arthur,” Gwen teased.

“It wasn’t a date,” said Merlin with a scowl, returning to finishing his reply to the email he’d been reading.

“Okay,” she said, in a disbelieving tone.

“Arthur is doing Morgana a favour,” Merlin reminded her. “And me too, really.”

Gwen moved a pile of papers and sat down on his desk. “Oh. Was Arthur mean or an arse about it? He promised Morgana he wouldn’t be.”

“No, he was… friendly. I guess. And what do you mean, he promised Morgana? What kind of leverage does she have over him?”

Gwen grinned gleefully. “Way too much leverage.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “And I suppose she’s recruited you to report back on how my pity-date went.” He shook his head.

“Hey, it wasn’t a pity-date!”

“No, you’re right,” said Merlin, correcting himself. “It was a fake date.”

“Merlin…”

He got up from his desk and took some papers over to the filing cabinet in the corner. “Look, it was fine. Okay? Arthur was fine. He was kind enough and it was a bit awkward at first, but in the end we had a good enough time for two people going bowling. I still don’t know though, how I have sunk so low as to let you and Morgana set me up with my boss in a farce like this.”

Gwen got up and straightened her skirt. “Look, Merlin, we both just want you to be happy and to—”

There was a knock at the door and they both looked up. Standing there with his dark hair slicked back and a sneer on his face was Cenred.

“Oh,” he sneered. “You’re here. Get me your boss. Immediately.”

Merlin felt a tendril of fear curl in his belly, his blood running cold at the all too familiar demanding tone.

“I-I…”

“What’s the matter, Merls? Cat got your tongue? Or are you just dumb as well as stupid?”

Gwen took a step closer to Cenred. “Now listen here, you!” she began.

Cenred laughed jeeringly. “Oh, this is cute! Is this your new girlfriend, Merlin? You couldn’t even be a queer boy properly huh?”

“S-says the bisexual,” Merlin managed to get out.

“Nah, I was never bi. I like women, Merlin. Men are just convenient holes to fuck without all the maintenance, that’s all. And most of them are like you, so desperate and gagging for cock that they don’t even care who gives it to them, much like I don’t particularly care who’s sucking my cock, so long as somebody is.”

Merlin curled his hands into fists, the fear starting to accumulate into a ball of anger in his gut. He would NOT give Cenred the satisfaction of reacting. He would not. He pushed down his anger and the magic that was simmering with rage deep down inside of him.

Gwen opened her mouth to speak again, but Merlin beat her to it.

“Arthur isn’t here. And even if he was, you’d need an appointment to talk to him, and according to his schedule today, you don’t have a meeting. If you require a meeting, you’ll need to email his assistant. As per company policy. None of the executives accept ad-hoc meetings.”

Cenred started at him and curled his lip. “You think that you’re such a big shot, ever since you landed this role, don’t you, boy? How did you get it? Did you suck him off like you did m—”

“Enough!” snapped Gwen. “You heard Merlin. You don’t have an appointment, so why don’t you just fuck off?”

 _“What did you just say?”_ Cenred snarled.

“I told you to fuck. Off. And if you have a problem with that, you can talk to _my_ boss, Morgana Gorlois, who need I remind you, is also a Pendragon.”

Cenred visibly paled. “I’ll let you off this time,” he said, waggling his finger warningly, before he turned and stalked out of the office.

Merlin slumped down into his office chair, feeling shaken. “Fuck,” he said, running his hands through his hair. 

***

After his confrontation with Cenred, Merlin had been ready to call the whole thing off with Arthur. He didn’t want to cause Arthur any harm, nor have Cenred start circulating the rumour that he had only got his job as Arthur’s assistant because he was giving him sexual favours, and Cenred had certainly seemed to imply that he might do just that. Merlin had even gone as far as getting his phone out to text Arthur—their chosen form of communication for anything outside of work—to cancel any future plans, before Gwen had snatched his phone from his hand and texted Arthur asking what they were going to do next.

Arthur hadn’t responded to the text message until after work, which didn’t surprise Merlin a great deal. Not much had changed between them since they had gone out on their not-date a few days before—Arthur was still as demanding and sometimes terse as he had been to start with. Merlin wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. That Arthur might be kinder or more relaxed with him at work? Well, quite frankly, yes. Because Merlin couldn’t imagine being anything other than nice to the people he worked with. And he always tried to be friendly with everyone he met, unless they gave him a reason to be otherwise.

As he was making dinner, Merlin’s phone beeped at him. A text from Arthur. He opened it.

_**Arthur:** Bowling the other night was fun. Fancy going go karting tomorrow? 8pm?_

Merlin smiled to himself. He knew that Arthur was doing this as a favour. But just for a few moments, he allowed himself to imagine that it was real. That Arthur really _was_ asking him out. A warm feeling filled his belly and he grinned wider, and in this private moment, he allowed himself to acknowledge how much he _liked_ Arthur and how much he _wanted_ it to be true. He wondered how to reply and started to type.

_**Merlin:** It was. Send the address._

Was that too cold? Too business like? He deleted it and tried again.

_**Merlin:** Yeah, it was. Send me the address and I’ll see you there. Looking forward to it!_

Was that too eager? Too date-like?

He deleted the last sentence and then after pausing for a further moment, he hit send. There. Done. He put his phone down and firmly put the matter out of his mind to focus on dinner.

***

The next few days at the office followed a familiar pattern. Merlin knew now what it was that Arthur preferred, and he was able to accurately predict how he would react to certain things and situations. He knew which people to let into Arthur’s office—his father was always allowed in, though reluctantly—Morgana was not allowed under any circumstances, not that that stopped her from just breezing in of her own accord, ignoring Merlin’s protests and going straight into Arthur’s inner office whenever she felt like it. But very few people were able to stand up to the iron will of Morgana. Not even Arthur, for all he complained and yelled at Merlin for letting her in afterwards. 

He knew just how Arthur liked his tea and coffee. He knew the best ways to quell Arthur’s temper and how Arthur liked things prepared ready for meetings. But he still didn’t really know much about Arthur outside of work. Not really. Merlin felt that even throughout their not!date, Arthur was performing in some respects. He longed for Arthur to let his guard down and be himself. He wanted to get to know the real Arthur. Something told him that holding out and waiting patiently was the key; not to push and not to pry, but to wait for Arthur to be ready. That didn’t really help in the meantime though, when Merlin wanted to know how Arthur felt about him. How did Arthur view him? Did he still think of Merlin as a bit of an idiot that he had somehow been saddled with, as Merlin knew he had done when Arthur’s father first appointed him? Did he consider Merlin as someone he could be friends with? Merlin didn’t dare to think, or hope for anything further than that.

Merlin hoped that he might be able to get answers to at least a few of those questions tonight when they went out again. He watched Arthur frowning at his screen through the glass window next to his desk and his heart did a flip. Why did Arthur have to be so damn gorgeous and perfect? He hoped against hope that he wasn’t falling for him for real. Gwen and Morgana would never let him live it down.

***

Merlin waited impatiently, his leg jiggling under the desk as he tried to busy himself with small tasks to pass the time until Arthur was finished. Since the go-karting place was so close to work, they had agreed to just go straight from the office. Merlin eyed his backpack. He’d packed a change of clothes for their date, but he wasn’t sure whether he should change or not. Was Arthur going to change as well, or were they just going to wear their work clothes? Finally, seeing that Arthur was still on his extraordinarily long phone call, Merlin abandoned his pretense at being busy and grabbed his backpack, heading to the private bathroom just outside the office. He would be changed and ready to go before Arthur was done at this rate, and it was beyond work hours now, so he was fully entitled to do whatever he wanted.

As he unbuttoned his shirt and tugged off his shoes, socks and trousers, Merlin reflected that he had done this far too often for his liking lately. There had been too many dates and nights out. He just wanted to be happy with his life, but was that even possible with Cenred lurking just around the corner? Their encounter yesterday had left him shaken and his confidence in himself in tatters yet again. It was only thanks to Gwen that he had survived it at all, and if it hadn’t been for his non-date with Arthur, Merlin was sure he would have called in sick to wallow in alcohol and self-pity. So perhaps he was making progress, in a weird kind of way. He reflected that, really, it might be better for him to move away, change jobs and put some distance between him and Cenred. But why should be the one to turn his life inside out and lose all of his friends and the life he had built up for himself here? He’d had enough of moving around and making new friends, only to move on to a new place when he was growing up as an army brat. Each time, it got a little bit harder to put down roots again, and he had learned to not too become too deeply invested with his friends, at least until his father had been medically retired and then passed away. Will had been his first true friend. They had both been outsiders at school and they had found an unlikely and unbreakable friendship blossom between them. And then that had all been yanked away from him as well in one fell swoop.

Merlin sighed from the depth of his soul and splashed his face at the sink. He’d had enough of dwelling on the past. Nothing good came from it. Instead, he should be thinking of tonight and his night out with Arthur. He was still surprised that Arthur had responded to his text—or rather the text Gwen had sent on his behalf—let alone that he had suggested another non-date. But it was a good idea. The better that they knew each other, the more convincing they would be as a couple in front of Cenred. Merlin scowled at himself in the mirror, ready to mentally scold himself again, when the door to the bathroom swung open.

He jumped and glanced over at the door. Arthur stood in the doorway, eyeing him with an expression that Merlin couldn’t quite put his finger on. Merlin stared back until Arthur finally cleared his throat. Oh shit! It was only then that Merlin remembered his current state of undress. Getting caught like this by his boss twice in so many weeks was ridiculously embarrassing, even for him.

He felt his face grow hot as he murmured, “Sorry,” and quickly grabbed at his jeans, hauling them on and removing his shirt to pull on a t-shirt. Arthur sidled past him, holding up his own backpack.

“I kind of had the same idea,” he confessed. “Except, I was going to actually get changed in a cubicle. Wouldn’t want anyone at work getting the wrong idea about me.”

“And what idea—” began Merlin, indignantly, as he tugged his jumper over his head, “—would that be?

Arthur pushed open the door to a cubicle. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said as he bolted the door. “Maybe that I was easy, or—”

“I’ll have you know—” began Merlin angrily, all his embarrassment gone in an instant.

“—if it was the second time that someone had walked in on me changing in their own _private_ bathroom in as many weeks, they might think that I _wanted_ them to look.”

Merlin swallowed, his stomach suddenly churning. Was Arthur calling him out?

“I-I— Well, you know what. You sure did take a good long look, so—”

Arthur opened the cubicle, his trousers changed, but shirtless. “For your information, I was looking because I couldn’t believe you were such an idiot as to get caught barely half-dressed in my bathroom again.”

He took a neatly pressed shirt out of his bag and put it on, slowly buttoning it, and Merlin found his own eyes roving over the rather attractive expanse of chest. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined what Arthur looked like underneath his suit, but he’d never thought he’d ever get the chance to see anything more than those gorgeous arms when Arthur rolled up his shirt sleeves, or that hint of chest when, on the rare late night, Arthur took off his tie and unbuttoned his collar. This was almost too good to be true, and Merlin would be mad not to at least take a little peek for his own personal use later. 

Arthur coughed and Merlin looked away, hurriedly fumbling his office clothing into his bag. Arthur took a more leisurely approach, carefully folding his trousers, shirt and tie and holding his suit jacket.

“Should we go then?” Arthur asked, finally putting Merlin out of his mortified misery.

With a nod, Merlin led the way out of the bathroom, and Arthur hung his suit jacket on the coat rack, exchanging it for an expensive-looking jacket which made him look even more amazing than he already did.

“Food first, or go-karting first?” he asked, pressing the button for the lift. Merlin’s stomach growled at the meer thought of food and Arthur grinned. “Food it is.”

***

Smiling to himself, Merlin pressed the door closed. He’d had a great night tonight. He could hardly believe it. Who knew that spending the evening with Arthur could be so much fun? Of course, he was still hugely competitive, but for some reason, Merlin had found himself being competitive right back. It was like how they functioned at work sometimes. Arthur often inspired Merlin to go toe-to-toe with him when they disagreed on something, and Merlin never feared standing his ground with him. 

It felt so nice to go out with someone who actually made him feel good about being himself. And Arthur hadn’t done that by doing anything in particular; he’d done it just by being himself around Merlin, without trying to impress him—well, no more than he usually did. Without the pretense of trying to get in his trousers. Just because he wanted to be Merlin’s friend. Merlin slumped down on the sofa as reality started to set in. His friend. Because that’s all that Arthur could ever be to Merlin. No matter how much Merlin liked him as a person and found him to be attractive and—dare he say it—compatible, they were never going to be anything more than friends. And even worse, after the Christmas party, it was likely that they would never hang out in this way again. This whole second not-date had been a way for them to get more comfortable around each other, and so in that respect, Merlin guessed that it was a success. But that didn’t serve to soothe the aching in his heart.

He wondered if that was it for now, until the office party. He supposed it must be. After all, there wasn’t that much time left, so why would Arthur bother with more for a few hours of performance in front of Merlin’s ex? Well, Merlin would just have to make sure to enjoy Arthur’s company as much as he could at the party, before they went back to being just boss and employee again with little to no interaction outside of the office.

***

The next day, whilst at work, Merlin was received another surprise text from Arthur. This time, it was a lot more basic and Merlin wasn’t sure what, if anything, he could read into it.

_**Arthur:** Pub after work tonight?_

With a grin, Merlin glanced over at the window between his desk and Arthur’s office. The blind was open, as it normally was, unless Arthur was having a particularly private or confidential meeting. He thought he might see Arthur looking back at him, or at least glancing over to make eye contact. But Arthur was sitting back in his chair, on the phone, twirling the cord around his finger as he spoke with no mobile phone in sight.

Merlin picked up his own phone and typed a reply.

_**Merlin:** Sure, sounds good to me. The Rising Sun?_

Watching eagerly out of the corner of his eye, Merlin glanced back at his own computer screen and pretended that he was working. He was interested to see how quickly Arthur would respond. Did he still have his phone on? Was it on silent? Had he sent the message and then turned his phone off? He felt a twinge of satisfaction when Arthur reached inside the pocket of his jacket and pulled out his phone. He switched it on, and Merlin could have sworn he saw a flicker of a smile on Arthur’s face before he placed his mobile on his desk and continued with the call.

Rather giddy and wearing what he was sure Arthur would call a stupid idiotic grin, Merlin returned to actually doing his work. Perhaps there might be some kind of hope for him after all.

***

“Are you ready, then?” Arthur asked, dropping a pile of folders onto Merlin’s desk and making him jump.

“Wha—?” replied Merlin, not looking up from the email he was typing.

“The pub?” Arthur said, and stared at him rather quizzically when Merlin finally looked up at him.

“Oh, is that the time already? Just give me a few more minutes and I’ll be done,” he told Arthur as he picked up the folders and quickly and efficiently sorted them into piles. Arthur took a seat at the chair in front of Merlin’s desk with an air of impatience while Merlin went back to his email.

The office was quiet except for the tap-tapping of Merlin’s fingers as they flew over the keyboard.

Arthur hummed contemplatively and Merlin eyed him over the top of his screen.

“What?”

“Why is it that you do it?” Arthur asked curiously. 

“Do what?” asked Merlin, his eyes back on his screen, not entirely sure what it was that Arthur was asking him.

“Work for me,” said Arthur. “I know that I’m not an easy person to work for, so I was wondering why it is you that you do it? What do you get out of the whole thing?”

“I do it because I get it. I understand that you want to do the best you can for the company. And in turn, you want it to be the best that it can be. And that means having high standards and high expectations of those who work around you.”

But Arthur didn't seem quite satisfied with this answer. Merlin could feel his eyes on him. "You could say those things about any job or boss, why do you put up with me _specifically_?”

Merlin stopped typing for a moment and glanced over at him. “Because,” he began, licking his lips, “despite all appearances to the contrary, you are kind and good-hearted and I believe that you honestly want what is best for everyone. Not just what’s best for the company. Take—” Merlin reached for a file, “—the Rodor proposal, for example. You didn’t _have_ to include those green provisions, nor did you have to make a donation and an agreement to partner with their chosen charity for that future project in Havant. But you did it because it was the right thing to do. In fact, I know it was you who convinced your father to put green clauses in every contract at Pendragon.”

“Yes, well, you damn near talked my ear off about it, so—”

“But you didn’t have to,” said Merlin. “You didn’t _have_ to listen to me, and you certainly didn’t _have_ to action it. No other companies in the industry are. But, things like that... That’s why I put up with you.”

With a shrug Arthur just muttered, “It actually saves us money in the long run, so of course Father is happy.”

Shaking his head fondly, Merlin got back to work. He really needed to get this last email done and quickly, before he squandered this moment of good-will and Arthur’s limited store of patience. Speaking of which, Arthur had got up out of his chair and was now pacing between the desk and the window, pausing occasionally to examine the rapidly sinking sun that was painting the sky a beautiful multitude of reds, oranges and purples. He might be fine now, but Merlin knew that this was a sign that Arthur was nearing the end of his tether.

“Why don’t you scowl at me some more?” Merlin told him, not looking up from his work. “It might make me type faster.”

Arthur scoffed. “Can’t it wait?”

“Not if we want to keep this contract,” Merlin scolded lightly, spinning around in his seat to grab a folder from behind him. 

He checked through the paperwork and then carried on typing, finally finishing with a flourish. “There. Done.”

“Finally!” exclaimed Arthur, rushing over to the coat stand to grab his jacket that Merlin was sure cost more than he earned in a month. His own jacket hanging there looked rather shabby in comparison. Merlin wondered just how he’d managed to let Morgana convince him this was a good idea at all.

***

Sat tucked away in a corner booth at The Rising Sun after work on a Christmas evening, the decorations of the place shining dully red, gold and green in the mood lighting of the pub, Merlin couldn’t help but smile into his drink. This felt so right and so good, better than anything had in a long while. There was no awkwardness or floundering for conversation topics. Just a good, solid chat, as though he and Arthur had been great mates for years. It felt comfortable, and it brought a light and warmth into Merlin’s small world that had been so lacking in the last few years. How was it that Arthur could make him feel all these things after just a couple of dates? Well... non-dates. Although, Merlin had felt similarly—comfortable, happy— at both the bowling and the go karting, when they weren’t too busy with their activities. A drink or two at the pub, though, was far more exposing and intimate. There was nothing to hide behind here. It was just the two of them. But it seemed as though Merlin had nothing to fear; Arthur might be intimidating to a lot of the people he worked with, but here he was relaxed and hospitable. 

Was this how things were meant to be? 

Merlin didn’t think there was really anyone else in his small group of mates that could compare. As much as Merlin loved Gwen, and as much she put up with all his whining and complaining and self-deprecation, ultimately their interests and hobbies lay elsewhere, with Gwen being an amazing seamstress in her spare time as well as loving cosplay and fashion. It was just something that Merlin couldn’t really relate to. She was pretty good at relationship and life advice, though and they’d struck up a friendship when her kind heart helped and supported him through getting out of his relationship with Cenred. And for that he would always hold a debt of gratitude to her. 

Gwaine was great too, when he wasn’t deep in his cups or trying to flirt with everyone living or dead. They had often had great times together when they were both single and Merlin was going through a bit of a crazy phase, fresh out of his previous relationship. But Gwaine had finally been tamed, it seemed. He was still slightly insane and fun and ridiculous, but he was insane and fun and ridiculous with Percival, instead of with Merlin. Hanging out with the two of them just made Merlin even more depressed about the sad state of his own love life. 

Will had been just as easy to talk to in his own way, because they both had so much shared history together. It never took much for Will to get Merlin laughing. But it also never took much for him to make Merlin mad at him. Will had been like the brother he’d never had. He often went over to Will’s after school and Will basically lived at Merlin’s house at the weekend’s when his mum worked shift work and there was no one at home to take care of Will during the day. It wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if it weren’t for Will’s disability. His mother might have left him to his own devices, but she worried, despite Will being independent enough when he was at school. Will had relished the freedom that living alone had given him, determined to prove himself to his mother and the world. 

Much to his surprise, Merlin found himself telling Arthur all about Will and how much his death had affected him. Arthur had been sympathetic, but not too much so, and there was something to his manner that made Merlin wonder who it was that he had lost, though he didn’t dare to pry, at least, not yet. Arthur was still his boss, and it wasn’t as though they were actually dating, so Merlin didn’t feel that he had the right to ask for anything from him. Least of all something that was obviously sensitive and close to his heart.

Arthur had opened up a bit about working for his father and how Uther had so many expectations about his life and how everything was to unfold. He shrugged a little when talking about how heavily his father was pushing for him to date and take a wife so that he could have kids within the next five years, as per his life plan for him. It had been on the tip of Merlin’s tongue to ask that, if that was the case, why was he spending time on a non-date to pretend to be his _actual date_ at the office party? Why not take some woman to keep his father satisfied? But again, he didn’t ask. Though this time, he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know the answer. It was better not to know and to imagine for himself why Arthur might want to do such a thing. Perhaps it was to get his father off his back by thinking that he was barking up the wrong tree (was he? Arthur had never shown any indications of his sexual preferences, though if he wasn’t at least bi then why would he even be seen on something that could be construed as a date with a guy?). Perhaps it was a quiet form of rebellion. Perhaps Arthur was bored. Or perhaps Morgana really _did_ have something big over him. Merlin was really curious to find out why exactly Arthur was doing this and what exactly Morgana had told him about the whole situation. Maybe at the party he would get the nerve to ask. After all, if he didn’t like the answer he could always hang on for just an hour or two more before bailing and they’d never have to see each other socially ever again.

Finally, as the hours passed and it started to get late, they decided to call it a night and stepped out of the pub into the frosty night air, their breaths misting into the air. Merlin felt a solid warmth in the middle of his chest brought about not entirely by the alcohol as Arthur started to walk him home. Home was quite a distance from The Rising Sun, which had been useful because of its close proximity to work. Normally, Merlin would have taken a bus, especially in weather like this. But he wasn’t ready for the night to end just yet and for this strange spell of friendship and enjoyment that had been woven over them to be broken, so he was glad when Arthur offered to walk home with him.

When they reached the door of Merlin’s block of flats, they both paused. 

“I— Do you want to…? We could…? Coffee or... maybe tea or…?” Merlin trailed off helplessly awkward. How on earth did one go about saying goodnight to their boss on a date that wasn’t a date but felt a whole lot like a date? He’d rarely got to this point on a regular date, and he was hardly the most eloquent of speakers at the best of times.

“I—” began Arthur. “I’d better not. Work in the morning, and all that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Merlin hurriedly agreed, rubbing his cold hands together as Arthur looked at him inscrutably. “Well, then. I guess I’ll just…” He nodded his head over his shoulder towards the door, “just go inside and... I’ll… “

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Arthur finished for him, with a warm smile.

Merlin flushed shyly and smiled back. “Yeah. Good night, Arthur.”

“Night, Merlin!” called Arthur, who was already walking away.

With a silly grin, Merlin typed a code into the pad and let himself in.

*** 

The next day, during their working hours, Merlin received another text from Arthur.

_**Arthur:** It was good to talk and get to know you better last night. How about dinner tonight? About 8? I have some stuff to take care of after work._

Merlin stared at the text for several long minutes. Was this an actual, “I’m asking you out on a date-date”? Or just a continuation of their not-a-date-dates? He was so confused. He wished he was better at this whole dating thing, but he’d always been a bit hopeless. A part of him wanted to run straight to Gwen during his coffee break, but doing that seemed like an invasion of Arthur’s privacy when he had sent this text to Merlin and Merlin alone.

He jumped as suddenly a pile of files was dumped on his desk with a loud thud, sending his phone skittering from his hands.

“Whenever you’re ready, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur told him tersely, and Merlin realised that he was late and unprepared for the staff meeting that morning. 

He swallowed and rushed after Arthur to catch up with him. Arthur had a departmental heads meeting, a dull affair where everyone fell over themselves trying to get Arthur to like and pay attention to them. Merlin let his thoughts wander as he stared out at the garden down below them; his attention wasn’t really needed at these meetings, Arthur just liked to have him on hand. Merlin was of the opinion that Arthur did it to look more important. While the others talked, he continued to wrestle with whether this new invitation from Arthur took them over the line of friends and into something more. Surely that wasn’t Arthur’s intention. He probably saw it as a continuation of before, and as Merlin traipsed back to their office after the meeting ended, he composed his reply in his head.

_**Merlin:** Sure, where should I meet you?_

He hoped that sounded casual and friendly enough. After he sent the text, he sneaked peeks at Arthur through the glass again and watched Arthur smile softly as he glanced at his phone to type a response.

_**Arthur:** Carnival Street.  
**Merlin:** That’s it? Not going to tell me where you’re taking me?  
**Arthur:** It’s called a surprise, Merlin. Just meet me there._

With that, Arthur pocketed his phone and turned back to his computer. Merlin decided resolutely that he should focus, too, though he couldn’t help the warm feeling in his belly and the smile that kept creeping onto this face at the thought of that upcoming evening. 

***

Merlin stomped his feet and blew into his hands as he waited on their agreed street. It was bitterly cold tonight, and as he looked up into the clear night sky, the pavement and roads glittering in the moonlight around him, he wondered if there might be snow on the way. Merlin wasn’t really familiar with the area he was in, so he couldn’t even guess as to where it was they might be going to eat. He hoped that they would have a somewhat decent vegetarian selection to choose from, and he wished that Arthur had been a bit more specific about _where_ exactly he wanted them to meet on the street. Merlin had no clue whether he was standing at the correct spot or not. He could very well be standing on completely the opposite end of the street to Arthur.

As he pondered this and wished that he had dressed up warmer, Arthur appeared. 

Merlin eyed him with an approving grin. Arthur looked amazing. His hair was neatly styled and his jacket, Merlin knew, was the latest fashionable design and suited him to a tee.

“Hey,” greeted Merlin

“Hey,” replied Arthur. “Ready? It’s this way.”

They walked down the street a short way until they stopped outside a sleek-looking restaurant that oozed style and class.

“Here?” asked Merlin with astonishment. He should have dressed up smarter.

Arthur held the door open for him as he went in. “My mother and father used to come here,” Arthur said. “Table for two. Pendragon,” he told the maître d’. 

As they were lead to their table, Merlin grabbed Arthur by the arm and hissed at him, “Arthur! What the hell are you doing? This place is way too expensive!”

But Arthur ignored him, waiting until they were seated at the table with menus in hand to respond.

“Well, I don’t know where you thought we were going to go, Merlin. But if I’m going to take someone out to eat somewhere, I’m going to take them somewhere decent. I _do_ have standards, and they are far above going out for McDonalds.”

“Is this about that night the other month where we worked late? McDonalds was the only place with takeaway still open! Unless you wanted me to bring back some kebabs for us to eat?”

Arthur visibly shuddered. “Don’t you ever remind me that kebabs exist again. Besides, aren’t you a vegetarian?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Merlin. “Which is why McDonalds was the only thing close to a viable option.”

“Pity,” Arthur murmured as he examined the menu. “They do great steaks here. But also good vegetarian food. Or so I’ve been told.”

Flipping over the menu, Merlin saw that Arthur was right. There was an extensive vegetarian section with far more choice that he was used to in most of the restaurants he usually frequented. He consumed the options ravenously with his eyes, and wondered exactly how much he could get away with ordering without looking like a pig.

“Besides,” continued Arthur, referencing their previous conversation. “At least here we can talk like civilised people without shouting over Christmas pop songs.”

Merlin pouted mockingly. “But I _like_ Christmas pop songs!”

With a roll of his eyes, Arthur set aside his menu. “Of course you do. Would it be too much to ask for you to respect the tradition of Christmas carols and classical music instead of that manufactured rubbish?”

“There is room in my heart for both,” Merlin insisted. “I don’t discriminate when it comes to Christmas music. I listen to it all.”

Arthur groaned. “I should have known you were one of _those_ people.” 

“Come on, Arthur, don’t be such a Scrooge. It’s not Christmas until you’ve listened to _Last Christmas_ and _All I Want for Christmas is You_...”

Waggling a finger at him, Arthur said, “Don’t you dare, Merlin. I am still Whamaddegon free.”

With a grin and a half-shrug. “Oh, I was out in Whamhalla the first day,” Merlin admitted. “It was the first song to play on my Christmas playlist. I even put it on shuffle!” 

“You would.” Arthur snorted.

The server arrived at their table, and after umming and ahhing for a few moments more, Merlin made a decision and they placed their orders. Arthur ordered wine alongside their meals and it arrived first.

“So,” began Merlin, taking a sip of his drink as he fished for conversation. “What do you do outside of work? I feel like I barely even know you. What is it that you had to take care of after work today?”

A grimace flickered across Arthur’s face, and he hesitated for a moment before he replied. “I don’t know. I go to the gym every few days…” Merlin already knew that. Arthur had a regimented routine when it came to his workout schedule, and though Merlin didn’t know where he went to the gym, it was clearly marked in the calendar. Today wasn’t one of his gym days. “On Sundays, I try and play football for a club that my mate runs. It’s quite good because you don’t have to commit to going every week; he has a big enough squad to pick from, and if we have more players than usual some weekends, we just make a second and third smaller team to play each other. It’s casual enough that I can still play even though work and other commitments mean that I’m away for a few weeks in a row quite often. Other than that, I guess the usual? TV, the occasional movie. Mountain biking in the spring, if I can get away for it. Somewhere hot for a week in the summer. What about you?”

Merlin noted that Arthur had side-stepped the question about what he’d been doing tonight. He supposed that it really wasn’t his business to know, and Arthur didn’t seem to want to share, so it was better to let the matter drop.

“Oh, um. I like fixing up computers, building them for gaming? And gaming on them, of course.” Merlin had just got back into this particular hobby now that he was back on his feet again, both emotionally and financially. Cenred had hated him making a mess and leaving computer parts around the flat, so Merlin had stopped doing it. And then, eventually, he hadn’t had enough money available to him to actually do it anyway, and it had been completely out of the question for him to spend time on something so superfluous as gaming. “I like going out to the cinema too. Preferably with a friend. But if I want to see something, I don’t mind going on my own, as sad as that sounds. Oh, and I do a bit of drawing from time to time, and…” He grinned at Arthur. “I like doing magic tricks.”

“Magic tricks?” said Arthur with a frown. “Isn’t that a bit... childish?”

“Hey!”

“All right, go on then. Show me something that will impress me.”

Merlin thought for a moment. Then he smiled mischievously, and Arthur raised an eyebrow in response.

“All right then,” Merlin said, pushing up his sleeves. 

He clasped his hands together, and then closed his eyes until he felt his magic surge through him and the object he desired plonked into his enclosed hands. He opened his eyes and then his hands to show Arthur the expensive silver watch he was now holding.

Arthur’s eyes widened, and as he felt on his wrist he did a double-take. “How— How did you do that?” he asked, staring at the watch and then at Merlin. Merlin passed it back to him, and Arthur examined it as if he suspected that it might be a fake, or not his actual watch but another one exactly like it.

“Magic,” said Merlin honestly, with a grin.

Shaking his head, Arthur fastened his watch back on his wrist. “Do something else,” he demanded.

“Okay,” said Merlin, starting to enjoy himself.

He picked up his glass of water and slowly waved his hand over it. Once he was sure Arthur was focused on the glass and not his face, he pushed again with his magic and slowly changed the water into a glass of red wine.

“What the…” said Arthur with astonishment. “What did you do? Did you add dye to it?”

“No,” laughed Merlin, taking a long sip. “It’s wine.”

“Very funny, _Mer_ lin,” said Arthur, snatching the glass from him and taking a gulp to prove Merlin wrong. He spluttered and put the glass down. “But how?” he asked.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Merlin said, spreading his hands.

Just then, the waiter arrived with their food, and all thoughts of magic were pushed aside to fill their stomachs.

“This is _so_ good!” exclaimed Merlin, practically inhaling his starter.

“I told you so,” said Arthur, as he cut into his steak. 

Merlin couldn’t help but screw his nose up a bit at the slight. Rare meat always made him feel a bit queasy. He’d be useless in a survival situation. Though, living in the middle of London, he was fortunately unlikely to encounter anything like that. But he supposed that he could live with it, if he really had to. His mum wasn’t veggie, after all, though she had always been accommodating to his food preferences. At least here the meat was free-range and grass-fed, according to the menu. That was better than nothing, he supposed.

“So,” said Merlin, having finally had enough wine to feel relaxed and a bit more daring. “Why is it that you’re doing all—” He waved his fork between the two of them, “—this?”

“All what?” asked Arthur, not looking up from his food.

“Taking me out to posh restaurants?”

“I already said that I—”

“Taking me bowling, go karting, to the pub…”

“Merlin, Morgana said I should make sure that we could be a convincing couple—why is she so dead set on that by the way? So I thought that the best way to do that would be to go out on… well, not dates, obviously…”

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat. “Obviously,” he echoed.

“Just so that we could get to know each other.”

“Of course.” Merlin nodded, looking down at his plate and trying to force back the tears he felt in his eyes. He hadn’t realised that hearing Arthur talk so dismissively about their whole arrangement would make him so upset. Maybe he’d been being a bit silly, letting himself get caught up in it and wondering what it would have been like if it was real. He should have been reminding himself every moment they were out on these non-dates that that was exactly what it was. Not a date. And that Arthur was not at all interested in him in that way. Still, he couldn’t resist digging further.

“But why bring me to a nice restaurant like this? You could take me to any old restaurant, but this one means something to you. Or— Is this what you do with all the girls you date?” 

Arthur choked a little on his mouthful of food. “Excuse me?” he said, wiping his mouth with his serviette.

“You heard me,” said Merlin, never one to back down from Arthur’s attitude. It was a different kind of confrontation than the kind he’d had with Cenred. Though he knew Arthur didn’t like it, he knew that he had a begrudging respect for Merlin when he stood up to him. “Is this what you do with all the girls you date? You take them out to nice places, tell them that story about this place being your parents favourite place, and wow them with your wealth?”

“What are you even talking about!?” said Arthur, his voice dangerously low.

“What? This isn’t what you do to make girls feel special? Am I not getting your standard dating treatment?” Merlin said with false sweetness.

“For your information I don’t—!” Arthur stood up and threw the serviette on his plate. “You know what, I don’t owe you anything! Least of all an answer to that question. I don’t even— I— This date is over!”

He threw down several twenty pound notes on the table. “Enjoy your meal,” he said acerbically.

He stalked away, leaving Merlin alone and confused, and wondering what the hell had just happened.

***

Merlin was both glad and relieved that his disastrous not-a-date with Arthur had happened on a Friday. It meant that he didn’t have to see Arthur at all for a few days. He hoped that the weekend would give Arthur some time to cool off, because they still had to work together, regardless of their argument. On the other hand, with every day that passed, he could feel his anxiety about having to see Arthur again ratcheting higher. And he dealt with it the only way he knew how; with drink. Bailey’s this time. Because why not at least try to be festive? Even though he knew that he had now well and truly fucked up his chance of bringing anyone to the Christmas party. Maybe he’d go on his own. The prospect seemed like an attractive one, at least when he was drunk. In the cold light of day, with a pounding hangover, it was an entirely different story.

He did the best he could during the day to keep his mind occupied and thoughts off of the mess that was his life, getting lost in a gaming competition on Saturday before heading out for some kind of food (and more alcohol) on the Sunday before the shops closed. Then, surrounded by junk food, he picked right back up where he’d left off and just carried on gaming. Finally, on Sunday evening he lay on his sofa, staring at the ceiling, his eyes and head having had their fill of screens for the weekend.

“Oh God,” he said out loud, rubbing his face with his hands. Why did he do these things to himself? Why did he go out of his way to sabotage all the good things in his life? Why had he had to needle Arthur like that? And what did Arthur’s response mean? He was indignant, of course, and angry. But there had seemed like there was something on Arthur’s mind and on the tip of his tongue that he had thought the better of expressing, and that was interesting. If it had been an insult, then Arthur wouldn’t have hesitated to say it. He’d given Merlin his fair share of insults at work for lesser things. Obviously, this was a bit of a sore point. There had been more than one occasion where Arthur had side-stepped what Merlin had asked him, and Merlin couldn’t figure that out either. 

His head hurt just thinking about it, and he was dreading the morning when he had to face Arthur again, though he didn’t think that he had really done anything wrong with asking questions.

Maybe he should quit his job; that way he wouldn’t have to deal with Arthur _or_ the Christmas party. Would his landlord accept payment in the form of unlimited electronic and device repair? Sexual favours, even? Merlin was willing to present him with a certificate for services to be redeemed later, if that was necessary. Or maybe he could just give up all his material goods and become a hermit in a cave somewhere. Though that would be rather dark and cold and wet, it still seemed like the better option than facing Arthur at work the next day.

He wished that he had some sleeping pills. If he had, he’d definitely have taken them. As it was, he stayed up, sprawled on his sofa with the remains of a pizza and the last of the Bailey’s bottle, binge-watching The Good Place on Netflix until he finally fell asleep.

***

In the morning, Merlin opened his bleary eyes and immediately closed them against the stream of daylight drifting in through the blinds of his front room. His mouth was dry and tasted awful as he slowly stretched, trying to get the crick out of his neck from sleeping awkwardly on the sofa.

It was a far too familiar way for him to wake in the morning lately. He needed to stop doing this. He was too old to be using drink as a way of avoiding his thoughts and emotions. If he couldn’t stop doing it for himself, then he needed to do it for his mother. He knew that she was worried about him still, though much less so than when he was with Cenred. She still didn’t know even half of what happened between the two of them, and Merlin intended to keep it that way. She didn’t need to know all the details, because she would only worry about him even more.

Hauling himself off of his sofa, Merlin headed towards his small kitchen to get some coffee started.

He could do this. He was a grown man; he could face Arthur today. He could be a professional and not think about what a disaster he’d made of things. He just had to go in, do his job impeccably, and it would all be fine. Arthur would have nothing to complain about and no reason to get rid of him for someone else to escape the awkwardness. Still, this just went to show exactly why he should have never mixed business with his personal life, he told himself as he filled the water reservoir of the coffee machine and switched it on. Whilst he was there, he put a few slices of bread in the toaster and then went off to have a shower.

Once he was clean and dressed for work, he felt a lot better about things. He didn’t need a man to go to this party. Why the fuck did he have to prove anything to Cenred, least of all that he had ‘moved on’ from him? Of course he had moved on from him. He didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. He could go to the party on his own and have a good time and that would be vengeance enough. After all, the best revenge was a life well-lived. 

Toast and coffee now consumed, Merlin grabbed his work bag and headed out the door, ready to face Arthur and the new day, whatever it might bring.

***

It turned out that Merlin needn’t have worried about Arthur and his reaction to their fight, as Arthur came in and treated him exactly the same way as usual: formal but crisp, with an edge of entitlement. It was as though Friday night had never happened. In a way, it was a relief that there wasn’t going to be a huge amount of awkwardness to wade through, but on the other hand, had their little non-dates and fight really been that inconsequential to him? Apparently they had. Merlin wasn’t sure what he would rather deal with.

Less than an hour into his day, Merlin’s work messenger pinged with a message from Gwen.

_**Gwen:** So…  
**Gwen:** How did it go!?_

Merlin sighed internally, debating the merits of closing his messenger and not replying. He doubted that this would stop Gwen. If he didn’t reply to messages or emails, she’d be on the phone, and failing that she’d show up right here in the office, and Merlin knew he’d be completely horrified if that happened. The safest option was to keep it all on messenger. At least then there would be less for Gwen to try and psychoanalyse.

He typed his reply.

_**Merlin:** How did what go?_

Gwen responded immediately.

 _ **Gwen:** Don’t play coy with me, Merlin Emrys! Your date with Arthur, of course!  
**Merlin:** It wasn’t a date.  
**Gwen:** Sure, you keep telling yourself that…  
**Merlin:** It_ wasn’t _and not that it’s any of your business, but it was fine.  
**Gwen:** Really? That’s all you’re giving me??  
**Merlin:** I don’t know what else you want me to say…  
**Gwen:** Right! There. I’ve put a meeting in your calendar for lunch. Meet me at the Labyrinth at 12:30! And I expect a full report!_

Merlin sighed out loud this time. He wanted to decline the meeting and skip out on discussing his date with Gwen. The last thing he needed was Gwen getting involved and finding out what had happened. But Gwen was impossible when she was like this. It was probably better to just go along and get it over and done with. At least he would be able to get someone else’s opinion on the matter. And he needed to tell her that he would be going to the Christmas party solo eventually; today at lunch was as good a time as any, he supposed.

It was a mostly uneventful morning, which Arthur had spent the best part of in meetings. Shortly before 12:30pm, Merlin slipped out to go and meet Gwen at the bookstore nearby—The Labyrinth of Gedref, or the Labyrinth for short. It was a strange place, run by an elderly couple named Geoffrey and Anhora, with a cafe in the heart of the shop which you could only find if you knew your way through the winding bookcases (hence the name). 

When Merlin got there, Gwen was already sitting at a booth in the corner. She gave him a big smile and a wave as he slowly sauntered over. He was _not_ looking forward to being interrogated. But he had surrendered himself to his fate. He was slightly jealous that Arthur was out to lunch with a client, which meant he didn’t have to face the same kind of treatment at the hands of a woman. Girls; they could get to the bottom of any mystery. 

“Hey,” he said as he slunk down into his seat. He grabbed a menu, feigning interest despite the fact that he and Gwen both knew there was only one thing on the menu that was vegetarian _and_ something that he wasn’t allergic to.

“Hi Merlin!” Gwen said brightly. “How’s your morning been?”

“Oh, busy. You know how it is.”

“Mmm,” she agreed. “Tell me about it. In fact, let’s not talk about work at all. I don’t want to be worrying about it during my lunch break.”

Privately, Merlin agreed, though thinking or talking about things outside of work wasn’t much better. He decided it was better to take the conversation in hand.

“How’s your dad doing?” he asked, with not entirely empathetic intentions. Gwen only had her dad and her brother, and her dad had taken a bad kick from a horse at work a few weeks ago, injuring his arm and breaking his leg.

Gwen sighed. “He’s doing okay. Doing far too much too quickly, of course. I wish that he would just focus on resting and getting better. But you know him. He can’t stay still for long. He’s already back at work, fiddling with some smaller metal works. It will be a while before he can shoe horses again, but Elyan’s taken over that line of work for now. I’m trying to talk him into taking over the majority of the business permanently, while at the same time trying to talk Dad into starting to retire.”

Merlin huffed out a laugh. “Good luck with that,” he said. He’d met Gwen’s father and brother and they were both as stubborn as she was. It would be interesting to see who would win out in this battle of wills.

“I’ll do it. Just you watch!”

At that point, Anhora approached them and took their orders.

“So,” began Gwen, once the old man had left. “Tell me all about your date with Arthur!”

“I already told you, it wasn’t a date!”

Gwen pulled a disbelieving face at him. “Okay, tell me all about your non-date with Arthur! I want details.”

“I keep telling you, there’s nothing to tell. We went out to dinner, and then—” he mumbled the middle of his sentence, before finishing brightly, “—I said something that upset Arthur and he walked out. So I’ve decided I’m just going to go to the party on my own.”

“Wait, what!? What did you say? Did you have an argument? What happened?”

“It was nothing, I just—I offended his honour, I guess. So he walked out. We’ve not talked since, except for work related matters. Which is fine. We’re both professionals. I just need to do my job and Arthur needs to do his.”

“Oh, Merlin…” Gwen said softly. “I don’t think it is fine. And it will affect your job. I mean, I know you, and you must feel pretty terrible about it.”

Merlin shrugged. “Arthur doesn’t.”

“Arthur doesn’t _appear_ to feel bad about it,” Gwen corrected him. “I’m sure he does though. You two should talk about it.”

Shaking his head vigorously, Merlin disagreed. “I can’t Gwen. I just... I’m not even sure if I’m in the wrong or not. And I don’t think Arthur wants to listen anyway. He’s been mostly avoiding me all day.”

“All the more reason that the two of you should talk. Then you can go to the party together and show Cenred you don’t need the likes of him!”

“Nah, I’m done with worrying about what Cenred thinks of me. He will think what he wants regardless. I can’t keep letting him have that power over me. I’ll come to the party, have a few drinks, then head home. It would look bad if I didn’t show at all, but I’m not going to worry about having a date anymore. And as for Arthur… There’s not too much longer before we have a week off for Christmas… I just have to make it until then. We’ll have a break for a few days, and by then the whole thing will have blown over.”

Gwen eyed him skeptically. “Look, why don’t you let me talk to Morgana? Maybe she can smooth things over. Wouldn’t you at least like to be on good terms with Arthur again? I’m sure he feels as badly as you do about things. Let us sort things out with him, okay?”

Giving Gwen his own skeptical look, Merlin reluctantly agreed. “Fine, if nothing else will suit you.”

“Good boy,” said Gwen, beaming with approval as their food finally arrived.

***

The rest of the week, there was a strange tension between himself and Arthur. They both busied themselves with work and submerged themselves in their roles, and yet they worked better together than they ever had before, with hardly any verbal communication at all; they each seemed to anticipate what the other wanted by instinct. 

Merlin truly felt sorry for how he had pushed Arthur when he’d clearly been uncomfortable, but he didn’t know how to begin to approach the subject with him. It didn’t seem appropriate at work, and there hardly seemed to be the right kind of opportunity to broach the subject anyhow.

Instead, he pushed aside the feelings of awkwardness and put his head down and got on with things, letting the days tick slowly by until finally it was the end of the week.

On the day of the office party, Arthur was in a teleconference in his office when Merlin’s phone rang.

“Hello, Pendragon Industries. Arthur Pendragon’s office,” he said.

“Hi Merlin!” said Gwen perkily.

Merlin was instantly suspicious.

“Hi Gwen…”

“So, ready for tonight?”

“I guess so.”

“Good,” she said brightly. “Make sure that you wear something nice, and Arthur will be by to pick you up at seven-thirty.”

“Arthur will _what_!?” exclaimed Merlin, a little bit too loudly. He saw Arthur turn to look at him from his desk, so he cupped his hand over the mouthpiece and lowered his voice. “Arthur will pick me up? Gwen, are you _completely_ mad? I can’t have Arthur take me to the party. Moreover, I can’t believe that Arthur’s agreed to it. What on Earth are you playing at?”

“He has agreed to it,” said Gwen. “Ask him when he gets out of his conference call.”

“Oh no, there is no way in hell I am going to _ask_ him if he’s agreed to take me on a pity-fake-date. It will make me feel even more of a loser than I already am,” Merlin hissed. “It’s embarrassing enough that you’ve even set it up!”

“Merlin,” came Gwen’s voice over the line, soft and kind, “just trust me. He will be there and he will take you.”

Sitting back in his chair, Merlin said smugly, “Arthur doesn’t know which flat I live in.”

Gwen scoffed.

“You _didn’t_... Gwen…”

“I didn’t,” Gwen reassured him. “But I have no control over what Morgana says and does.”

“Ah,” said Merlin, as the penny dropped. “Did you guys cook this up together?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“Gwen, I don’t need you and Morgana trying to set me up. I don’t need a date for this party. I’m fine.”

“Just, trust us. Please. Give Arthur a chance, yeah?”

“I—”

“For me?”

Merlin sighed. “Fine. For you.”

“See you tonight!”

As it was, Merlin didn’t get to talk to Arthur at all before leaving work for the night. Arthur conference call was apparently a long one. He waved at Merlin through the window when it got to 5 o’clock and it became apparent that it wasn’t going to end anytime soon, telling him to go, and in the interests of avoiding an awkward conversation, Merlin scarpered pretty quickly back to the safety of his home.

***

Merlin spent the next few hours in a state of nervous unrest. He showered, had tea, styled his hair, had another cup of tea, chose an outfit, decided he needed to drink something stronger, restyled his hair, had another drink, changed his outfit for another one, and then finally he paced his flat, waiting for when Arthur would finally arrive to pick him up. 

He still didn’t understand how Gwen managed to convince him of these things. But here he was, anxiously awaiting for Arthur to turn up at his door. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He hadn’t really had anyone over to his flat yet, except for his mum who had helped him move in. It felt like a sacred space, and it was somewhere that Merlin usually felt completely safe and secure. He had cultivated that experience deliberately, as a contrast to his place with Cenred, where he had always been on high alert and had never been able to truly relax. But waiting for Arthur to pick him up was making him more of a wreck than he had been in a long while. What if it was awful? What if they couldn’t get past their cold professionalism anymore? Merlin had been enjoying getting to know the real Arthur. He did want to lose that permanently. He would try his best to keep his mouth shut; surely that would be better than making a bad situation even worse. 

Despite his nerves, Merlin couldn’t help but feel his magic surge warmly beneath his skin as he remembered with contentedness the various non-dates he and Arthur had spent together. He’d had a good time, and he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he was actually falling for Arthur, as scary as that prospect was. And despite himself, Merlin had begun to let himself think that maybe Arthur felt the same way...

And then it had all come crashing down around him. Even worse was the fact that he’d done it to himself. He had spent the entire week kicking himself over it, wishing and wishing that he could have that night at the restaurant to do over so that he could just _enjoy_ Arthur treating him as someone special.

Now, however, he couldn’t stop rehashing that night. Had he been imagining the whole thing? What if he’d wanted Arthur to feel the same way about him so desperately that he’d manufactured it all? He tried to put it out of his thoughts, and as he paced he checked his emails and Facebook on his phone, feeling a pang of loss as he realised that, normally, he’d have Will hounding him via voice messages at this time of year. He would have especially teased Merlin about Arthur, equal parts amused and disgusted that Merlin had fallen for his boss. 

Finally, ten minutes later, there was a sharp knock at the door. Merlin almost jumped out of his skin. He took a deep breath and strode purposefully towards the door.

He couldn’t help but smile as he opened it, a little bit giddy as he looked Arthur up and down appreciatively. Arthur was gorgeous normally in his suit and tie, but he was equally beautiful in a crisp red shirt and smart jeans. It ought to be illegal to look that good at all times. Merlin bet Arthur even looked attractive first thing in the morning with his hair smooshed by sleep and pillow creases on his face. The bastard.

He bit his lip and hastened to step aside, suddenly realising that he was staring way too much to be appropriate. He beckoned for Arthur to come in.

“Hi Arthur,” he said. “Thank you so much for doing this. You don’t know how much I appreciate it. After the—”

“I’m not doing it for you,” said Arthur, cutting him off sharply as he took in the shabby surroundings of Merlin’s small flat. “I’m doing it because Morgana asked me to. Now, are you ready or not?”

Merlin felt his heart sinking into his boots. It was so obvious now. Arthur didn’t have even a smidgen of the feelings that Merlin had for him. Never had, and never would. A part of him wanted to cry about it. The other part of him didn’t want to give Arthur the satisfaction. This had been a terrible idea, and Merlin has no clue why he let Gwen talk him into it again, especially with Arthur being a complete and utter arse about things. The night was going to be awkward enough, without dealing with Arthur’s attitude about it, and he couldn’t imagine how he would possibly be able to enjoy himself with Arthur acting the way he was. But he didn’t actually have to really be enjoying himself, did he? He just had to appear to be enjoying himself, as difficult as that might be. It was too late to back out of anything now; if he did, he might as well dig his own grave for Gwen and Morgana to bury him in, as they seemed determined to make the two of them attend the party together.

“Um, yeah,” muttered Merlin, as he patted his pockets to check for his phone, wallet, and keys, before grabbing his jacket from the hook by the door. “Let’s go, I guess.”

Parked right outside his block of flats was Arthur’s Lexus, unmistakable with its custom number plate and oozing with wealth and style. Merlin thought that it was a bold move to park it out on the street in _his neighbourhood_ , where the most expensive cars were the occasional Smart car and the odd second-hand Honda Civic or Toyota Prius for the more environmentally conscientious family. 

“Brave of you to drive your Lexus,” he said. “To be honest, I’m impressed it’s still here.”

Arthur made a dismissive noise. “Don’t be so dramatic, Merlin.”

“I’m not! I used to cycle into work on a Brompton until someone nicked it one night. I bet they got a pretty penny for it, too,” Merlin said with a sigh. That bike had been his first big purchase after he’d settled down in his flat, intended to make his life easier and give him some exercise at the same time. He’d learned the hard way that a lot of things didn’t last long on the streets here. Not even if you locked them up.

Arthur’s eyebrows rose as he started the car and put it in gear. “I’m sorry to hear that. Sounds like you need to move to a better neighbourhood.”

“Pay me more and maybe I will,” replied Merlin.

“Excuse you, but you are paid _plenty_ for your job,” said Arthur indignantly.

“I know,” sighed Merlin, sinking into his heated leather seat. Trust Arthur to have all the luxuries in his car. And he was right too. Merlin had checked and his salary was more than adequate and probably a little bit too generous given his previous lack of experience in the role. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault that Merlin spent so much of his income on making sure that his mum was comfortable. She deserved it. though, and Merlin didn’t mind living where he did whenever he thought of her. She had raised him mostly by herself, his father having died when he was younger, and she’d done a wonderful job. She had even taken Will under her wing as well when his own mother had found his disability hard to cope with. They had gone on away on holiday together for years, so that she could get some time to herself. At the time, Merlin had just thought that it was so that he would have some company, but now that he was older, he realised the truth. His mother was the most wonderful person he knew, and he would sleep on the streets before he saw her in any kind of financial trouble. 

“So, why live here, then?” asked Arthur, casting his eyes around at the neighbourhood with distaste whilst they were stopped at a red light.

“It’s affordable. It’s on a good bus route for work. It’s fine,” Merlin insisted. Then after a bit of a pause he said, “Thank you.”

“What for?” said Arthur, as he continued to drive.

Merlin shrugged. “For coming and picking me up? For carrying on with this charade? For not firing me? Take your pick.”

“Why would I fire you?” Arthur asked as he changed gears. “Look, I’ll deny this to my dying day, but you’re actually not that bad of an assistant. What I mean to say is, I’ve had worse assistants.”

“Thanks,” said Merlin, smothering a smile. “I think.”

***

When they arrived at the Christmas party—hosted at a trendy nightclub in the city—it was already in full swing. As they approached the entrance, Merlin was startled to feel Arthur slide an arm around his waist.

“Arthur!”

“What?” said Arthur into his ear, his breath hot against the cold air. “You want us to look like a couple don’t you? Just go with it.”

“But what about— Aren’t you worried about people—”

“Shh, I don’t care about that,” Arthur said, tugging Merlin into the building with him.

The music thrummed and the lighting was low inside the club. Merlin took a few moments to look around, his eyes scanning the room to see if he could spot Cenred. It was a natural instinct that he always felt whenever he knew that Cenred might be in his immediate surroundings, and sometimes even when he didn’t. This was the first time since going out on his fake-dates with Arthur that he had found himself searching the crowd, however, and the thought was somewhat comforting. Maybe he was finally starting to get over him.

Once he realised that Cenred was not there yet, Merlin relaxed a little and took in the club properly, which had been transformed into some kind of Santa’s grotto. Except classier, because Morgana and the rest of the HR team were running the show. 

“Merlin!” called Gwaine’s familiar voice from the bar. “And… Arthur? Wow, I didn’t know. Are you two…?” He gestured between the two of them.

“No,” denied Merlin.

“Yes,” declared Arthur.

Gwaine looked mildly surprised, but also pleased. “Great news!” he said, thumping Merlin on the back. “And about time! Come on, let me get you both a drink. I have to admit, it’ll be nice not to have to see you mooning over Arthur anymore, Merls. But let’s not replace it with swooning, eh!”

“What—!” spluttered Merlin. “I’ve never mooned over—”

“Ah, come off it, Merlin. You were dead gone on Arthur, always were. I’m very happy for you both. So, drink?”

Merlin turned to Arthur. “I was never—”

“Mooned over me, huh?” said Arthur, grinning. Merlin narrowed his eyes at him. “Is it true?”

“Of course not!” said Merlin, rolling his eyes. “As if I’d moon over the likes of you!”

Arthur just continued to grin in an infuriating way as he gave Merlin a friendly shove. Merlin shoved him right back.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen!” called Gwaine, holding three pints in his hands. “Save that for the bedroom.” He leered.

“Fuck off, Gwaine,” said Merlin and Arthur in unison.

“Speaking of bedrooms…” said Gwaine, looking at someone behind them appreciatively.

They turned to see who it was, and Percival sidled up to them, giving Gwaine a peck on the cheek.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Gross,” he said.

Merlin felt his heart sink in disappointment. Did Arthur really think that it was gross that Percival had kissed Gwaine? Maybe he had misread the signs all along and Arthur was actually somewhat homophobic, despite doing this whole fake-date thing for him. He put his drink down on the bar.

“Be right back,” he murmured, pushing past Arthur to find the toilets.

Inside the bathroom, he locked himself in the nearest cubicle and allowed himself a small sniffle. He was an idiot and a fool. Why did he always do this to himself? Why did he always convince himself that a guy truly cared about him, only to get his heart broken and his hopes dashed? And this time it was even worse. _Because he knew all along that things between him and Arthur had been fake_. He knew they’d been pretending. And yet he’d still managed to convince himself, deep down, that it had all been something more. 

He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and took a few deep calming breaths. He couldn’t break down. Not here. Not when he was around all his work mates. And he couldn’t leave, because they’d just barely got here. That left him with one option: suck it up, keep it all in and get on with it. It was just one night. Then he could go home, to his safe space, and deal with it all.

He heard the sound of two guys laughing as the door opened and the noise from the dancefloor drifted in. Merlin waited in the stall, listening to their very average conversation, until finally they left. Merlin slipped out of the bathroom swiftly after them, not particularly looking where he was going.

He bumped into someone and there was a sorry which died on his lips as he looked up, straight into the face of his ex.

Cenred curled his lip with distaste.

“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. I’m surprised _you_ had the nerve to show your face tonight. Hanging out with your loser friends, I suppose?”

Merlin swallowed uneasily, pushing down the wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Suddenly, he was right back where he’d been just over a year ago, cowering and kowtowing to Cenred, trying to appease him so that he didn’t get hit. Saying anything that he could to keep him happy. Memories flooded through him, robbing him of his ability to say anything.

“What’s wrong? Are you deaf now, as well as dumb? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You always did like the disabled. Like that friend of yours—Bill? Phil? The blind one. He was as stupid as you are, but at least he had an excuse for it. What’s your excuse, Merlin, huh?”.

Merlin flinched involuntarily as Cenred moved closer, getting right in his face.

But Merlin shook off his instinctive fear, Cenred had no power over him now. No control. He was the one with the power. He was the one with control. He clenched his fists and allowed himself to embrace the hot surge of anger that flood through him. How _dare_ Cenred insult Will like that! His magic hissed and fizzed beneath his skin and Merlin was ready. He was about to finally, finally give Cenred a piece of his mind. 

“Back off, Cenred,” Merlin said calmly. 

Cenred laughed. “Or else what?”

“Look, you don’t scare me anymore—”

“Fuck, you're high and mighty for a glorified secretary!” Cenred said interrupting him with a snarl. “At least when you were with me, you never used to have such a high opinion of yourself. But you were always a waste of space, and the sad thing is, you always will be. The only things you were ever good for were sucking my—”

Cenred advanced on him, giving Merlin a hard shove.

“Hey!” yelled a voice. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Merlin grimaced and shrunk back. Oh God. Trust Arthur to think that he was doing a good and noble thing. Merlin wished that he could tell Arthur to go away. He was just going to make things worse, Cenred hated to be challenged. He hated it when people spoke back to him. The next time that Cenred caught him alone…

“Back off, Pendragon. It’s nothing to do with you.”

“Like hell it isn’t!” said Arthur, taking a step closer to stand with Merlin. “How dare you threaten my boyfriend!?”

“Boyfriend?” Cenred laughed. “As if. Fucktoy, maybe.”

Arthur slid an arm around Merlin. “I’m warning you, Cenred. Back the fuck off and stay the hell away from Merlin.”

“You’re sinking low, aren’t you Pendragon? Taking my leftovers?”

“Leftovers? You’re being ridiculous. He’s a person, not a casserole! An incredible, gorgeous person who chose me and I him. So I’ll tell you one last time. Back. The fuck, Off.”

“Fucking hell. He’s pulled one over on you, hasn’t he? But I guess he needs to keep you sweet so that he can keep a roof over his head. It’s okay. I was going anyway. Unlike you, I don’t hang out with losers.”

With that, Cenred flounced off.

“You okay?” asked Arthur, rubbing Merlin’s arms lightly.

Merlin shuddered, trying to shake off Cenred’s words. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I think so.”

“Good,” said Arthur.

He stared at Merlin for a long while, his gaze flicking down to his lips and back to his eyes. Merlin bit his lip and before he knew it, Arthur’s mouth was on his as he kissed him softly. Merlin’s eyes fluttered closed and he fisted his hand on Arthur’s shirt, responding to the kiss instinctively.

He knew that it wasn’t real—at least, on Arthur’s side—but it was real for him, and he let himself have this brief moment, melting into it. How he had dreamed and longed for this.

As they pulled apart, Arthur smiled at him, and behind them, there came a slow clapping.

“Fucking finally!” called Morgana. 

Arthur flipped her off without even taking his eyes off of Merlin.

Behind him, Gwen took Morgana by the arm mouthing, ‘call me later’ and ‘merry christmas!’ as she took her girlfriend off to the bar.

“Arthur?” asked Merlin, confused. 

“Listen, Merlin,” began Arthur. “I believe we rather got off on the wrong foot. I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about the way that I acted the other night, and the night before. I wasn’t— I don’t think I was ready to acknowledge the feelings I was having...feelings that I’ve been having for quite some time now. Morgana says that I’m a bit thick that way, and maybe she has a point. Just don’t let her know that I said that. So, maybe we can start over?” He held out his hand. “I’m Arthur.”

“Merlin,” said Merlin, then pushed Arthur's hand away instead of shaking it as he said, “to hell with that.”

He pulled Arthur close by his shirt collar for another kiss, determined to enjoy it for all its worth, now that, somehow, Arthur really did seem to mean it. He pressed closer, deeper, licking into his mouth as Arthur opened to him like a flower in spring. 

When they parted again, Merlin smiled, breathless, pressing his forehead against Arthur’s.

“You mean this, right?” he asked, serious for a moment. “You meantwhat you said? The bit about...” Merlin bit his lip, “me being incredible? And—and…”

“And gorgeous, and fun, and interesting, and the biggest pain in my arse. Yes, I did.”

Merlin laughed. “I take a lot of pride in the last one.”

Arthur laughed too. “You would.”

As they approached the bar, Gwaine cheered raucously, and Percival applauded. “Gentlemen! I hear congratulations are in order?”

“What?” said Merlin, feeling his ears heat. Why would they need congratulating? He worried for a moment that maybe he had missed something in his conversation with Arthur.

“Congratulations for finally getting off your arses and doing something rather than pining hopelessly for each other, of course.”

“I never—” started Merlin.

“You did a bit, mate,” said Percvial with an apologetic shrug as he took a swig of his drink. 

“Thanks,” said Merlin sarcastically.

“Pining, huh? Tell me more please, Gwaine. I’m all ears.”

“Ass,” muttered Merlin.

“And yet, you pine over me, so I’m told,” teased Arthur.

“Shut up and get me a drink,” Merlin told him. “I’m going to need one at this rate.”

“What about not wanting me to treat you like a girl, Merlin? Surely you should be buying your own drinks, or better yet, buying me a drink. Equality and all that.”

“When our salaries are equal, I’ll gladly buy you one. Until then, get a round in, I want to go dance.”

Arthur looked at Merlin in horror. “Dance?”

Then it was Merlin’s turn to grin wickedly. “I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

Looking intrigued but not completely convinced, Arthur went off to the bar with Gwaine. Percival grinned wryly at Merlin. 

“So you got there eventually, then,” he commented. Merlin looked at him, confused. “Gwaine and I have been watching this whole mating dance you two have been doing. Tip-toeing around each other, watching when you think the other’s not looking...you both even somehow managed to convince yourself that your dates were fake, when even this most unobservant person could see how much fun you were having.”

“How do you know we had fun?”

Percival laughed and clapped Merlin on the back. “I do have eyes, Merlin. You were both so much happier when you were going on those dates. I’m not sure what happened last week, but you’ve both been so completely miserable that I’m glad you got past it. It would be a shame to let a good thing slip through your fingers. You work so well together—not just in the office— and it’s been so nice to see you actually happy for once. Gwaine and I were worried that you might never let anyone in again. And Arthur… He’s changed too. Because of you. He was so uptight and would never really interact or talk to people socially, especially at work. He kept to himself. Now he notices people; he takes the time to talk to them and get to know them. You helped do that.”

Merlin shook his head. “I think you’re giving me too much credit, Percival. Arthur’s always been generous and kind, even though he had a special way of showing it. He didn’t need me for that.”

“Either way, I’m glad you both pulled your finger out and figured things out.”

“Thanks, Percival. I think.”

His eyes wandered over to the bar where he watched Arthur ordering drinks. He could honestly say that Arthur had the most gorgeous profile he had ever seen. His jawline so sharp that you could cut diamonds with it. His aquiline nose. His hair just gently brushing his brow, and a soft mouth with perfect lips. Merlin still couldn’t believe that this was all quite real and that Arthur really _did_ want him. He wondered if perhaps this wasn’t all part of the magic of Christmas weaving a spell over them both. What would be left of it come the new year? What if this was merely some kind of fairy tale, and the clock would eventually strike midnight, sending Merlin be back to his solitary single life, pining for Arthur once more? He smiled dreamily and adoringly as Arthur paid for the drinks and headed over with a plethora of shot glasses. Merlin met his eyes for a brief moment, before quickly averting his gaze, sure he was blushing way too much. Arthur would never let him live it down.

“All right, lads. Get these down you,” crowed Gwaine.

Merlin didn’t have to be told twice. He downed his shots in quick succession, and before long he was pulling a rather reluctant Arthur out onto the dancefloor.

As promised, Merlin certainly did make it worth Arthur’s while, dancing closer and closer to him as the night went on. Finally, when he felt brave enough, Merlin looped his arms around Arthur’s waist and pulled him flush against him. They made out obscenely on the dance floor, in a manner that Merlin would never have dreamed of doing without the addition of so much alcohol to embolden him. 

He started to grind against Arthur, feeling a thrill run through him as he felt the outline of Arthur’s hard cock pressing insistently against his. It was so electrifying to know that he was having that effect on Arthur; it gave him just as much of a buzz as his magic did, thrumming beneath his skin. 

Finally, Merlin couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be alone with Arthur, away from the party.

“Take me home,” he said into Arthur’s ear as they slow-danced together.

Arthur didn’t need to be asked twice. Before Merlin knew it, he was pushing through the group of their friends and colleagues towards the exit, and once outside the nightclub, they hailed a taxi.

Merlin gave his address, and as the driver took them back to his flat, he began to regret living so far away from the venue. He wanted to be home already, and to get Arthur into his arms.

***

When they reached the front door of Merlin’s flat, they turned to look at each other, the taxi journey and the party long forgotten.

“Merlin,” Arthur began, just as Merlin said, 

“Arthur—”

“Oh, you first.” Arthur gestured. 

Merlin shook his head. “No, no. What were you going to say?”

“Well,” said Arthur, a little awkwardly. “I was going to say; thank you. For putting up with me this past week. I know that I haven’t been the nicest person to work for. And I promise, going forward, I won’t ever be so unprofessional as to—”

Surging forward, Merlin suddenly kissed Arthur, sliding his fingers through Arthur’s hair as his other hand cradled his jaw. 

Arthur smiled as they pulled apart. “—as to—”

“Shh!” said Merlin, pressing a finger to his lips and pulling him towards the door.

He kissed Arthur again, long and sweet.

“Merlin—” protested Arthur, pulling away. He ran a hand through his hair. “Look, this is very nice and all…” 

Feeling his heart sink, Merlin felt the new world he’d been building up in his head around himself and Arthur start to crumble. He knew that this had all been too good to be true. He should never have let his guard down. 

“...but this is our first date!” Arthur continued. “And I just—I want this to be good. I don’t want to mess things up. I think we ought to wait until—”

Merlin started to laugh, his worries instantly falling to the wayside as he scolded himself for being so doubtful. 

“Wait? Arthur, this our what...” Merlin counted off their dates on his fingers, “fifth date! Come on, we’re well past first date territory. We always were. So if you think that I’m going to wait for another two or three dates before we do anything other than kissing—”

He shoved the door behind him open and yanked Arthur into his flat.

“Oh, thank god,” exclaimed Arthur, slamming the door closed and pressing Merlin up against it. He captured Merlin’s lips with his, and Merlin gave as good as he got, kissing him back as he pushed Arthur’s coat off his shoulders. 

Groaning into the kiss, Arthur hitched Merlin’s legs up around his waist and started grinding up against him.

“Ah, yes. Arthur! Let’s— Sofa,” Merlin gasped out, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s neck. 

Carrying him over to the sofa with ease, Arthur let Merlin fall onto the cushions with thud. Merlin opened his mouth to complain, only to be silenced by Arthur licking into his mouth with gusto. Arthur started to tug at Merlin’s jumper.

“Off,” he murmured.

Not needing any further invitation, Merlin rid himself of his top and hastened to help Arthur off with his shirt, though not without a small pang of regret for his Arthur-in-a-suit fantasies. Hopefully, there would be plenty of opportunities to explore that later. 

Shirts off, Merlin eyed Arthur’s chest appreciatively. It was even better close up. And it was all his. He couldn’t help but run his hands over Arthur’s abs, up to his pecs and over his biceps, glorying in every single inch of muscle. Arthur was just as perfect as he’d imagined—though it wouldn’t do to admit it to him out loud.

Pushing Merlin onto his back on the sofa, Arthur straddled him and dove in for another kiss which left Merlin reeling and hooking a hand around the nape of Arthur’s neck to pull him back for more. Kissing Arthur was intoxicating, in the best way, and Merlin wanted to stay drunk on him forever. As they kissed, Merlin let his hands stray and slide down to Arthur’s waist, finding his way to the button of his trousers. He hoped he wasn’t pushing too far, too soon, but he’d been dreaming of being with Arthur for so long that it didn’t feel soon enough for him. 

Taking it as a good sign that Arthur hadn’t stopped or tried to push him away, Merlin was thus emboldened to undo Arthur’s trousers and palm his cock as they both groaned into another kiss. Arthur thrust forward into Merlin’s hand and pushed against him, enthusiastically signalling his agreement at the current proceedings and Merlin smiled. 

“Arthur,” he breathed, arching beneath him as Arthur’s hands reached for his belt and tugged it off. Arthur immediately took advantage of the way Merlin’s head had fallen back to attack his neck, sucking and biting at it in a way that Merlin knew would leave marks and bruises the next day for nosy fuckers like Gwaine to question him about. Not that he could bring himself to care about that, as Arthur’s hands made short work of his belt and smoothly flicked open his jeans. He paused in his attentions to Merlin’s neck to ease them down and over his hips. 

Merlin himself hurried to push down Arthur’s boxers, and soon Arthur was pressing down on top of him, his skin hot and smooth against Merlin’s as he pinned Merlin down with his weight. Merlin groaned and pushed up against him, grinding his cock against Arthur’s until they were slip-sliding against each other, the way made slick by their pre-release. Merlin fisted his hand in Arthur’s hair, tugging hard and then grinning as he sucked Arthur’s bottom lip into his mouth. This was almost perfect; he just needed a little more friction...

“Ah, yeah. Fuck,” gasped Arthur as he ground down harder, and then, propping himself on one elbow, he slipped his hand between them to take them both in a firm grip. 

“Oh yeah, that’s it,” groaned Merlin appreciatively. Arthur’s fingers wrapped tightly around the both of them and he started to work his hand up and down, giving a delicious twist as he reached the top of their cocks before sliding back down.

Merlin pushed eagerly into Arthur’s palm. He just needed a little more. If Arthur would just tighten his— Oh God, that was just perfect. 

Arthur started pumping hard and fast as Merlin called out, “Oh, Arthur— I—I— That’s…” gripping his arms tightly as his impending release built and built. 

Finally, he crested, and came with a silent cry. He lay underneath Arthur, relaxed and helpless to do anything but watch as Arthur’s face contorted with pleasure. He finished himself off with a grunt and then collapsed on top of Merlin, completely spent.

Grinning dopily, Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur and doodled circles lazily on his back as Arthur panted against his neck. He had never imagined that the night would end up like this when Arthur had picked him up being all prattish and dismissive. He should have known better than to take Arthur’s actions at face value. He was great at putting on a front when he had to, but Merlin had witnessed the aftermath before when Arthur thought that a meeting was all over and he didn’t have to perform anymore. Merlin supposed that it was a vital skill when your father was the steely Uther Pendragon and your sister a vicious matchmaking viper like Morgana. Merlin was going to give her and Gwen a piece of his mind for setting them up like this and masterminding this whole thing. He couldn’t help but feel that both he and Arthur had been played somehow, and he suspected that neither of them would ever live it down. It was going to make for interesting times, certainly, if he and Arthur were to officially become an item and Arthur expected him to attend any family events, which Merlin hoped that he would. On the other hand, they seemed to be the winners in this whole set-up, too. So was it really that bad to have been played, if the outcome was the one that Merlin had most desired?

“Merlin,” murmured Arthur, sleepily. “I can hear you thinking, and it’s keeping me awake. Just sleep, ‘kay?”

Sleep; that was good advice. He _was_ feeling rather tired after the party and the drinking and their recent exertions. Sleep was good.

He smiled to himself as Arthur shifted onto his side and curled up around him. Who would have thought that the infamous Arthur Pendragon was a snuggler? He was itching to tell someone already. But he knew Arthur would threaten him with immediate and painful death if he ever mentioned it, so Merlin held him close, enjoying this moment that only the two of them could share. As Arthur’s breathing started to even out, Merlin felt sleep claim him too, and he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

***

The next morning, Merlin was rudely awoken by a stray ray of sunshine drifting into his bedroom and the throbbing, thumping of his head. He groaned to himself. Why had he drunk so much last night? Behind him someone sniffled and snuggled closer, looping their arm around his waist. Merlin froze for a moment before relaxing as the night before started to come back to him. 

He and Arthur had had quite the night, first dozing off on the sofa after getting each other off, then, when they both woke up, cramped and uncomfortable, they’d both agreed to relocate to the bedroom, where Merlin had given Arthur a rather spectacular blowjob, if he did say so himself. Then, not more than a few hours ago, Arthur had woken him up again, spooning him from behind and fucking between Merlin’s legs as he got Merlin off with his hand. It was safe to say that they’d been working hard to make up for lost time. 

Judging by the feel of Arthur’s hard cock poking him in the back, Merlin would say the odds were high of another round, before they finally had to get up and find some sort of nourishment for the day. He turned in Arthur’s arms and studied his face. Arthur was indeed as perfect and good looking as ever with his face creased by a pillow. But especially Merlin’s pillow. In Merlin’s flat. Because Arthur was here with him. That fact still baffled Merlin. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it, and he reckoned he still wouldn’t be able to months from now. 

He was tempted to reach out and touch Arthur’s face and smooth away a crease mark, but he was afraid of waking him and breaking this perfect moment of tranquility in the early morning light. It was only when he noticed the corner of Arthur’s mouth quirking into a smile that he realised that Arthur was already awake.

“You ass,” he muttered. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough,” said Arthur, his voice husky. “So, want to do something before breakfast, or…?”

“You’re in satiable.” Merlin groaned dramatically, rolling onto his back. “Go on, then; take me!”

Arthur huffed out a laugh and hit him in the chest with his arm. 

“You’re an idiot,” he said, as Merlin grinned at him. Then he looked away, staring up at the ceiling as he said, “Actually… I was, um, rather hoping you might… take, um, me?” 

Merlin looked over at him and inhaled sharply. Was Arthur really asking…?

Arthur swallowed hard and looked embarrassed, but he didn’t shy away from Merlin’s gaze.

“All right, then,” Merlin said.

“You could try and sound more enthusiastic about it!” said Arthur indignantly.

Rolling over onto his side, Merlin kissed him. “Ah, but I’m saving my enthusiasm for other things…” he said, as he raised an eyebrow in what he hoped was a provocative manner.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Remind me why I offered myself up to you again. Or indeed why I’m here at all.”

“Because you were impressed with amazing blowjob skills?” Merlin asked hopefully, whilst also immediately cringing internally as he realised that _really_ wasn’t something you should be saying to your _boss_. But then again, what you should and shouldn’t say and do with your boss was a line that they had crossed many hours ago, at and then after the Christmas party… 

“Mmm, they are pretty impressive,” agreed Arthur. “And I’m not usually easily impressed. I could definitely do with a reminder to be sure…”

“Arse,” said Merlin, but there was no heat behind it.

“So are you going to… Or not?” said Arthur, spreading his legs invitingly.

Realising that Arthur was serious, Merlin hastened to crawl into the space he’d created and leaned over him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I think I can accommodate your request, sir,” he said cheekily, smoothing his hands over Arthur’s legs. They were warm and surprisingly soft. “Oh, wait. Hang on.” 

Merlin leaned over to the side table, pulling out a tube of lube and a pack of condoms he’d picked up a few weeks back when he’d still been contemplating a sort of fuck-buddies thing through the dating app he’d joined. Always better to be prepared and safe. He hadn’t really given them much thought since he’d had his non-dates-which-probably-actually-had-been-dates with Arthur. Now he was glad that he had been so thorough.

“Have you ever… before…?” Merlin asked cautiously as he sat back on his heels. He was still completely in the dark as to Arthur’s dating habits and sexual preferences, except that he’d been up for everything they’d done so far. Not that Merlin really felt entitled to know all the exact details of Arthur’s past, but he at least wanted to be sure if Arthur knew what he was asking for and if he’d done it before.

“I— To other people— Other guys. But, look, I know what I want, Merlin. And how to do it, I just— I want you to do it. So just… get on with it?”

“Fine, fine,” grumbled Merlin and then said under his breath. “You’re lucky you’re gorgeous.”

He ran his hands up and down Arthur’s thighs and wrapped his fingers around Arthur’s erection, which jerked and hardened in response to his attentions. He leaned forward again to kiss Arthur. “You’re sure?” he asked again, staring him in the eye. “Because we can always do something else, or you can do me, instead.”

“Yes,” said Arthur, meeting Merlin’s attentive gaze square on. “I’m sure.”

Merlin grinned and dove in for another deep and searching kiss as he felt around blindly in the duvet for the lube. He flicked the lid open with one hand and squeezed some out onto his fingers before discarding it again. As he licked into Arthur’s mouth, their tongues entangling, Merlin’s fingers searched out Arthur’s hole, leaving a sticky trail of lube in their wake. He circled the tight furl teasingly, before slowly pushing in with his finger, breaking away from the kiss to focus his attentions on how Arthur was handling the intrusion. 

Arthur tilted his head back into the pillows, biting his lip as Merlin kissed and licked soothingly along his neck. 

“Okay?” Merlin asked. Arthur nodded. “It will feel great soon, I promise.”

Finally, Merlin’s finger was all the way in, and he wiggled it experimentally. It wasn’t just for Arthur’s sake that he wanted to take this slowly. He wanted to be sure that he was doing things correctly, too. It had been a long time since Merlin had topped anyone, and he was a little bit nervous about the whole thing. Cenred had loved to top and never wanted to bottom, so that was the way it had always been with them. Though Merlin had been fine with that arrangement at the beginning of their relationship, eventually the fact that Cenred had refused to even discuss the possibility of a change every once in a while had become a sore point for him. Of course, that had turned out to be the least of his worries, and now he was glad about it because it meant that he could have this moment with Arthur, untainted by any previous memories. And he was determined to make it a good experience for the both of them. 

Merlin pushed all thoughts of Cenred out of his mind, annoyed that he’d still managed to worm his way into his thoughts even now, and focused purely on Arthur, who was laid out in front of him like a three-course meal. Merlin admired the way the rays of sun flooded the bedroom and caught on his chest, burnishing the hair there with an almost golden glow. He pressed kisses to the broad expanse and down Arthur’s belly, all the way to Arthur’s straining cock, which he took into his mouth as he worked a second finger in alongside his first to help loosen Arthur’s hole.

Arthur moaned appreciatively, then let out a gasp as his body jerked, Merlin’s fingers brushing his prostate. Merlin smiled around Arthur’s cock, before rubbing his fingers there again, causing Arthur to cry out and throb in his mouth. Merlin held him tightly around the base as he pulled off and reached for the condoms. 

Ripping open the box, Merlin grabbed one and threw the box away, not caring in the least what happened to it. He held the corner of the packet with his teeth and tore it open, watching the way Arthur palmed his own cock. Fuck that was sexy. He made a mental note to ask Arthur to wank for him in the near future.

He pulled his fingers out of Arthur, who gave a dissatisfied grunt. 

“Ready?” Merlin asked as he rolled the condom onto his own cock.

“Yeah,” said Arthur, glaring at him as if daring Merlin to disagree.

With a small smile, Merlin gripped Arthur’s hip and guided his cock to Arthur’s hole. He pushed forward slowly against the tight muscle, slowly, slowly until suddenly he was inside, the tight heat of Arthur gripping the head of his cock. Merlin grit his teeth and hissed out a breath at the sudden sensation, trying his best to think unsexy thoughts until the overwhelming urge to come had passed. He wanted to last. He didn’t want to come immediately like some kind of teenage boy, but the feeling of having Arthur engulfing his cock was overwhelming. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths.

“Merlin…” said Arthur warningly. “Move!”

Letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, Merlin opened his eyes and started to push further forward, watching Arthur’s face until he was completely in. He wriggled a bit to make sure Arthur was properly seated before leaning forward onto his arms and thrusting out and back in with a moan.

Merlin’s anxiety had dissipated completely, and he wondered why he had even worried about topping in the first place. This felt amazing. Such an overwhelming amount of sensation flooded over him. He’d forgotten how great it was. He hoped that Arthur was finding things equally enjoyable. Merlin reached between them to grip Arthur cock, stroking him as he started to pick up the pace, rocking in and out as they found their rhythm. 

“Ah, Merlin. Fuck, ah, yes. I— I—” Arthur didn’t get to finish his sentence as he came with a gasp, his back arching and his body clenching tight around Merlin. 

Continuing to push into Arthur’s heat, Merlin chased his release, He knew he wouldn’t take long as he thrust, two, three, four times. He closed his eyes tight as he came, his magic burning through his veins. And then, when he was completely spent, he dropped down on top of Arthur, exhausted. 

He felt Arthur’s arm wrap around him, a hand running gently through his hair as Arthur murmured softly, “Thank you.”

Epilogue

It had been six months since the office Christmas party, and Merlin was sitting in Arthur’s flat, both bored and anxious as he watched the clock. Arthur had been due back half an hour ago, but Merlin guessed that either the airport was a nightmare, or traffic was bad. It had been almost three weeks since they’d last seen each other and Merlin was starting to get a little crazy from it all. Their WhatsApps and video messaging were getting more risque by the day. Merlin was about ready to get on a plane purely for a booty call and a night in Arthur’s company at this point, so it was a good job Arthur was coming back today. How did military spouses stand it? He and Arthur weren’t even married and Merlin had missed him desperately. Although, if you listened to the way Gwen and Morgana talked, he and Arthur were as good as married. Even Gwaine and Percival were no help, having tied the knot themselves last month and now heavily hinting to them both that they should do the same.

But they both felt no need to. Life, except for this inconvenient separation, was good. Merlin and Arthur continued their roles as executive and PA at work and were still having the same old disagreements; that hadn’t changed. Though Arthur had at least become more thoughtful in the way that he insulted Merlin. 

Cenred had been fired from Pendragon Industries for stealing sales off of his subordinates to claim as his own. Apparently, this was something that had been heavily frowned upon by the higher-ups and not his first offense. Merlin still couldn’t be completely sure Arthur hadn’t had something to do with it, since it had all happened after Arthur had managed to weedle the sketchy details of their past relationship from him. But considering it meant Merlin likely would never have to see his ex again, he let the matter drop. Merlin had had one last unpleasant confrontation with Cenred before he’d left, where he’d actually managed to stand his ground against him and told him to fuck off once and for all, enbolded by Arthur’s love and support. That had felt good. He’d been able to do the one thing he’d most desired with regards to Cenred and it had felt like he would finally be able to close that chapter in his life for good.

Merlin had even stopped dealing with his biggest problems and upsets by resorting to drinking them away. And that was one of his biggest successes to date. Though he had come close that time he and Arthur had had a huge row and he'd been certain they were done for good. It had been over their biggest bone of contention; that for several months Arthur had refused to acknowledge their relationship to his father. Arthur had been afraid of Uther's reaction to the fact that he was dating both a man and his PA, having never confessed his pansexuality to his father before now. He’d been scared of disappointing him and dashing Uther’s hopes that his son would marry a woman and have 2.4 children, given that Morgana was never going to walk that path. And of course, he’d refused to talk about it with Merlin also. But in the end, they had made their way through it. Arthur had finally told his father and had given him an explicit ultimatum; either he accepted Arthur and Merlin's relationship, or know that Arthur would not be turning up to any events to which Merlin was not also welcome. 

Gwen and Morgana were a bigger part of Merlin’s life than ever, now that he was dating Arthur, and the two of them were awfully smug about the way they’d managed to get the two of them together. Arthur had been most enraged about the whole thing, but he’d just about forgiven them now, considering it had really been the push that Arthur had needed to get him to admit to his feelings and act on them. 

They still kept separate flats. Arthur knew how having his own space had been essential to Merlin in the early days of their relationship. He had needed the security of knowing that he wasn’t dependent on anyone and could retreat to his own safe space at any time. In truth, however, they spent much of their free time together over at one flat or the other. Merlin had even been to watch Arthur play football, which was proof of true love right there, given how Merlin detested all sports. He’d even started going to the gym a couple of times a week with Arthur, and he’d be lying if he wasn’t enjoying the benefits of being fitter and stronger, and the way he was finally starting to develop a bit of muscle. Arthur wasn’t shy about voicing his approval, either, though he’d loved the leaner, less defined Merlin just as much.

Merlin was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of keys in the lock of the front door. He’d decided to wait at Arthur’s flat as a surprise for him, though he was certain Arthur would be expecting it, thus making it not a surprise at all really, but it was the thought that counted. He flew up off the couch and over to the door, pulling Arthur in as soon as the door was open and pressing his rather surprised boyfriend against the wall to snog him within an inch of his life.

“Missed me then?” Arthur gasped when Merlin finally broke for air.

“Maybe a little bit,” said Merlin casually.

Arthur laughed as he hauled in his luggage and divested himself of his coat. He started to undo his tie, but Merlin batted his hands away.

“No, no,” he said with a grin. “Leave it on. I have some plans for you and that suit…”

And with that, Merlin lead Arthur to the bedroom by his tie, with many snickers, laughs and kisses along the way.


End file.
